[krisjack81]

I hate my life and I wish I could change it but I can't. I would like friends and a girlfriend but I don't leave the house. I have people saying that I am handsome and not bad looking on the internet but I think they are just saying that for whatever reason. Maybe it is to make me feel better but I don't really believe it.I think I am fat and ugly. I know I am a good person with a huge heart and funny but I think sometimes I tend to annoy people and they would run off. I just hate life cause I want a girlfriend really bad and I don't know what to do or go to make it happen. I have really bad social anxiety and unless a girl walks up to me and asks me out it wont ever happen and if I happen to go to the store which is rare and when I am asked to go I gripe about it as I just don't like going. I just don't like people are staring and making fun of me as I am fat and I think I am ugly. I am told by some people that my personality is good but I don't think it is but sometimes I do. My memory is not that great as I forget things that I talk about with someone and sometimes it just feels like my brain is scattered or something. I am trying to lose weight with the workout Insanity but I have since stopped. I don't really see the point in working out since I am not losing that much weight to begin with. I feel good and since I don't know how to cook I cannot eat healthy as I depend on my mom to cook my meals. People also tell me to get out of the house but where do I go. I just feel like when I do go it feel strange and it feels like I am on display like some circus freak. I mean even if I do go out I won't ever be able to approach someone even for a friend. I am really really shy person and I also think why bother since nobody is going to like me anyways. I am a negative person and really wish I could change that. Like I said earlier about working out I think there is no point to it as I am not active and I don't know what else to do active. I am so depressed and stuff I just don't have the energy or whatever to go anywhere. I also don't know if it is worth working out is because I think why bother cause my life is going to suck for the next 30 years or so so why workout and lengthen my miserable existence. I know that there is no way that a girl will want to be with me as I have no money, car, job, friend,house and I have never had a women interested in me. I mean if I was a girl I would not be interested in me cause I think I am a disgusting fat guy at 33 years old and I think it is too late for me to change. Nobody just brushes this all off and goes out making friends and girlfriends out of the blue. I think it is a total waste of time for me to make friends and try to find a girlfriend as I don't think anyone would want to be around me. I mean I think if I was a positive person and if I lose some weight and with confidence people would probably flock to me but the negative side in me always wins. When I say something positive in my head something negative in my brain would say no your wrong or something like that. I weigh around 300 lbs at 6 ft and I feel like a failure and a loser. I have pretty much waved the white flag at life and I am just pretty much waiting to die as I am to scared to do it myself and I am too scared to die and apparently I am to afraid to live as well and it really sucks in knowing there is nothing I can do about it.

[no-thing]

heartbreak sucks.

[Rohag]

Hello, Krisjack81.

Originally Posted by krisjack81

Nobody just brushes this all off and goes out making friends and girlfriends out of the blue.

True. And depression undermines will, effort, focus.

If I understand correctly, your school years constantly broadcast negative messages at you despite your being at a healthy weight.

"By indirections, find directions out..."

Apart from exercise, have you attempted to study social skills? That is, I suspect you have more social skills than you think, but it might nevertheless be valuable to examine social-skills literature.

[krisjack81]

Thanks yeah school years and life in general bring negative messages and i don't know how to stop it. I spent my whole school years without one girlfriend. I never had a girl that was interested in me as far as I could tell and it sucks and when I do like a girl it it usually a girl that probably would not be interested in me since she is pretty or whatever.

[Fuzzybear]

[Strive4health]

I'm really sorry to see you struggle like this, Kris I know it's been a while since we last chatted. All I can say right now is you need to take baby steps...trying to do too much at once will just overwhelm you. I would stick with Insanity and losing the weight you want because it is YOUR goal, not anyone else's. Please don't lose the weight because you think it will help you get a girlfriend, because you will just be unhappy in the end. Lose the weight as a starting goal for your own reasons and to have your own sense of accomplishment.