Tired

Hi. I'm tired. So very tired. It scares me when I feel this way. I just don't know if it will ever end. It seems like 1 step forward and 3 back. I know there is a point, but what the point is I can't figure out. Will this ever go away? Usually the kids are enough for me, but I feel like I am going down the road where maybe they would be better without me. Everyday is such a struggle and right now I am wondering why am I doing this struggle? Is it worth it? Is there really a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Can you ever find the end of the rainbow, when the storms never end, lately the sun isn't even able to peek out because of the storms, if there isn't a sun, there isn't a rainbow, if there is no rainbow, no pot of gold.....
Do I keep hoping the sun will peek through????

Purple,

At this point in time I can totally relate to how your feeling. I'm sorry your finding yourself in a slump. Journaling helps me. Making notes of positives and holding on to that. It is a day by day process. Try not to look so far off into the future. That is when our minds run wild and imagine the worst. Keep posting, keep talking. We are listening.

Jen

There's a rainbow, it just hasn't spread to you yet. It will.

And with it will come flowers and sunshine and cotton balls and puppies and laughter and smile and brilliant colors and endless beauty just for you......

For now, I send you many hugs..........and messages to the universe that you need a rainbow soon.....

(((((((((((((((purplemoon))))))))))))))))

hang in there.............

((((purplemoon))))))

I am right where you are. I have no energy. I feel as though this horrible disease has swallowed me up whole, eaten me up & spit me out, over & over & over & over. I have fought soooooo hard over the last 17 yrs but the last three-four yrs have been especially difficult. I feel like it has won, no matter how hard I try & fight. I can function for literally only two - four mos, & then I crash. Very hard & very badly. I crash for ~ six mos & it takes me another four (at least) to get myself back up to a "functioning level" again........all to repeat the cycle over again. :*(

I, too, feel like, "What's the pt?" and think that it will never ever get better. Right now, I honestly feel as though I am dying.......b/c my body is just so weak.....mentally, emotionally & physically. I can barely walk up a flight of stairs w/o stopping, which is really upsetting for me, b/c I've been a major athlete all my life. I just feel so defeated inside; I feel like I have no more energy to fight & just want to disappear into nothingness. I feel like the last 17 yrs of my life were a complete waste.....

At least you have your kids to live for - let them bring you love & the strength to fight. I "only" have some good friends. No family that cares.

((((((((((((((((((( purplemoon ))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you guys so much. Sometimes it is so hard. I wish it wasn't so hard. I am trying. Just one step at a time.