[MattMVS7]

I am having something far worse than depression in which I feel completely numb all the time 24/7 and can't experience any degree of pleasure whatsoever no matter what I do or how I think. This is something that remains there all the time everyday and is not getting better and I'm not even sure it will get better and if there might be a strong possibility that it will never get better. This is how I feel about it and how much I value pleasure:

Being alive is superior to being dead as long as you have pleasure. Therefore, since pleasure is emotional life, that makes it superior to being numb (emotionally dead) in which you have nothing more than mere thoughts and duty in life. Pleasure is the absolute and defining life force of "living" and a living thing that defines you as a living person and is what makes you a better and superior person (in comparison to yourself) because anyone would know just how good of a experience pleasure is and how much it makes life worth living and is the only thing to me that makes life worth living.

So even if you were a psychopath and killed many people, as long as you have all the pleasure in the world, that would make you a far better and superior person than if you were someone who is depressed and emotionally numb and helped and cared for other people. Again, this would only be in comparison to yourself and not comparing yourself to other people as there is no comparing yourself to others anyway.

Another convincing argument for the radical reasoning I just made above is that thoughts and such without pleasure are nothing more than any other part of the brain for biological functions (such as parts of the brain responsible for movement, breathing, etc.). But pleasure is your emotional well-being here and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and is the only thing that allows you to make the best of your life. So this is why I come to the conclusion that living your life through pleasure (even if you were a psychopath) would be the only best thing here (only for you though) in this situation as opposed to living your life feeling numb and depressed and helping others being nothing more than mere biological functions (thoughts and actions). It would be better for you as a person because you would, again, be nothing more than mere biological functioning without pleasure regardless of how much you chose to help others and regardless of how much these helped individuals look up to you and admire you. They would have a pleasurable sense of high value and worth towards you, but you will not even be allowed to have a pleasurable sense of value and worth towards yourself in helping others and in them admiring and looking up to you.

But, however, it would be better for other people if you chose not to be the psychopath and instead chose to be numb and depressed and help other people. So even if you did choose to become the lesser (nothing) person with nothing more than mere biological functions, you would be able to help other people suffering which is obviously a great thing.

As for tying to make the best of your life and helping others and such having no pleasure (being nothing more than biological functioning), I would unfortunately have to say good luck on that. You will soon find that you are nothing as a person without pleasure regardless of how much you help others, regardless of who you are as a person and what your attitude is in life, and no matter what you do in life. You would find that life is completely worthless. As a result, you would then go to drastic measures to try and get your pleasure back such as electric convulsive therapy and wishing that you would rather be in a hospital bed with cancer and many other horrible things to happen to you at the same time--as long as it meant having your pleasure back.

[notafanofme]

One must just keep trying to experience pleasure at all costs, I feel we live our life only once and as long as we enjoy it "we will be happy"
.

[MattMVS7]

Also, as for people who give such "advice" such as: " I am 53 and have never had pleasure in my life, I am used to it," this is not the type of advice I need as I am an emotionally sensitive human being and not some robot who would be fine living a life without pleasure. Robots are fine living a life without pleasure because that's what they are--emotionally insensitive functioning machines. But I, on the other hand, am an emotionally sensitive human being who is not fine living a life without pleasure and will never be fine with such a thing because, again, I am a sensitive human being and will forever remain a sensitive human being.

[Blues47]

That makes sense. No matter what they're doing or what else is happening, the person feeling pleasure is better off than the person incapable of feeling pleasure.

[MattMVS7]

Now continuing on from my previous post, in a way, people who give such "advice" are robots themselves because if they were truly a caring sensitive human being and truly cared for my emotional well-being (pleasure), they would instead offer me hope and comfort that I will once again experience pleasure instead of simply just giving the cold insensitive message of just getting used to it or that "Many people have problems that they have to deal with, so just deal and live with it."

[Altered Moment]

You are repeatedly going over the same point. "You have not experienced pleasure, or cannot experience pleasure and it is very valuable to you." You have three choices. Quit living or do something about it so that you will be able to experience pleasure or live with it. That is the stark reality. We have pointed out in other posts that there is treatment available and things you can try to overcome your problems and once again experience pleasure. As long as you keep dwelling on the same point and trying to convince us that a life of no pleasure is not worth living than you are stuck. Something needs to change yet you think it is impossible for it to change.

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

You are repeatedly going over the same point. "You have not experienced pleasure, or cannot experience pleasure and it is very valuable to you." You have three choices. Quit living or do something about it so that you will be able to experience pleasure or live with it. That is the stark reality. We have pointed out in other posts that there is treatment available and things you can try to overcome your problems and once again experience pleasure. As long as you keep dwelling on the same point and trying to convince us that a life of no pleasure is not worth living than you are stuck. Something needs to change yet you think it is impossible for it to change.

While I am not just simply posting here and doing nothing with my life in trying to bring back my ability to experience pleasure (such as medication and therapy which are things I already tried and aren't working yet), I am posting here because I have a convincing reason that there might be a strong possibility that I will never get better. I really hope this is not the case and that you can somehow reason against this argument that I will now present here:

You might be thinking that over time as I continue to think positive and focus on other things and such, that this will bring back my ability to experience pleasure. Although this is something that would work if I were depressed, this is not something that is going to work for this numb feeling I'm having (which is not depression). Why I come to this conclusion is because my mind did not just shut down (numb) my ability to experience pleasure for no reason since any function of the mind is there for a very important reason and does not just simply occurr for no reason or for a pointless reason and that it can just go away or ease up by thinking positive and such over time (although this would be the case for depression in helping the depression get better, but not for this numb feeling). In shutting down my fear, my mind had to also shut down my ability to experience pleasure for a very important reason. That reason could be that, if my ability to experience pleasure were to be left on while my fear were to be shut down, that might of killed me, caused seizures, abnormalites in the brain, etc. Therefore, both the fear and my ability to experience pleasure had to be shut down.

So no matter how much I think positive and such over time, as long as my fear remains shut down, this is not going to restore my ability to experience pleasure because, again, if my ability to experience pleasure were to be turned on to any degree while my fear were to remain shut down, that would cause serious problems and there is no way the mind would ever do that because that is just how the mind works to protect you. I can even take supplements and everything including medication to try and restore my ability to experience pleasure, but this won't do anything as long as my fear remains fully shut down as it is now.

Now the reason my fear remains shut down (numb) in the first place is because I feel uncomfortable having these panic attacks and taking the risk of having many panic attacks each day for that matter. So my mind has decided to protect me from having these panic attacks since I feel uncomfortable. If I were to feel completely comfortable, that would be very likely to return my ability to experience pleasure as well as my panic. But since I feel that I will never be comfortable with this (and I don't think any human being would ever feel completely comfortable with something like this either, especially if it could mean having many upon many panic attacks each day), this is the reason why I feel that my ability to experience pleasure could forever remain shut down and never get better regardless of how positive I think and such over time.

Or maybe there could be ways to help me feel comfortable having panic. I know that exposure therapy is where you purposely try to make the panic happen as well as trying to feel comfortable having the panic as well. But this would be the only way for my ability to experience pleasure to return is if I were to instead cause my fear to return and, instead of focusing on my pleasure and how to make that return through thinking positive and such, I would have to instead focus on my fear and how to make myself panic as well as finding ways to help myself feel comfortable having the panic. But since I am treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and can't be desensitized and such, will my ability to experience pleasure be restored or at least significantly restored anyway over time?

Also, even if I weren't treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and still could never feel comfortable having these panic attacks, would my ability to experience pleasure be brought back anyway despite the fact that my fear remains fully shut down? Or is that something that is not possible to happen despite the fact that the mind is a very complex organ and has amazing ways to recover and such?

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

since I am treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and can't be desensitized and such, will my ability to experience pleasure be restored or at least significantly restored anyway over time?

I think that would be as likely or unlikely as your panic disorder going away over time.

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by Blues47

I think that would be as likely or unlikely as your panic disorder going away over time.

So you're saying my anhedonia won't get better then (since I know that I am, again, treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and that the panic never gets better)? Do you have any scientific evidence and such to back up what you just said?

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

So you're saying my anhedonia won't get better then (since I know that I am, again, treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and that the panic never gets better)? Do you have any scientific evidence and such to back up what you just said?

Well no, you're talking about either one resolving over time independent of treatment right? So by your own analysis - which I agree with - they are both equally likely or unlikely to do so.

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by Blues47

Well no, you're talking about either one resolving over time independent of treatment right? So by your own analysis - which I agree with - they are both equally likely or unlikely to do so.

Why couldn't the anhedonia get better while the panic still remains the same? Why is it that they both have the same likelihood or unlikelihood of either getting better or not getting better? I know that you agree with my argument I made, but is there really any scientific evidence and such to back it up as well as what you are saying here?

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

Why couldn't the anhedonia get better while the panic still remains the same?

No reason that I'm aware of.

[Maryanne420]

I am going through the same thing in my life right now and I'm hoping that the lack of ability to have pleasurable experiences will end as soon as this bout of depression ends. In the meantime even small things such as shopping or watching a comedy on tv are better than nothing. I think not having anyone to talk to is the worst though. Thankfully, depression usually lifts sooner or later.

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

I am having something far worse than depression in which I feel completely numb all the time 24/7 and can't experience any degree of pleasure whatsoever no matter what I do or how I think. This is something that remains there all the time everyday and is not getting better and I'm not even sure it will get better and if there might be a strong possibility that it will never get better. This is how I feel about it and how much I value pleasure:

Being alive is superior to being dead as long as you have pleasure. Therefore, since pleasure is emotional life, that makes it superior to being numb (emotionally dead) in which you have nothing more than mere thoughts and duty in life. Pleasure is the absolute and defining life force of "living" and a living thing that defines you as a living person and is what makes you a better and superior person (in comparison to yourself) because anyone would know just how good of a experience pleasure is and how much it makes life worth living and is the only thing to me that makes life worth living.

So even if you were a psychopath and killed many people, as long as you have all the pleasure in the world, that would make you a far better and superior person than if you were someone who is depressed and emotionally numb and helped and cared for other people. Again, this would only be in comparison to yourself and not comparing yourself to other people as there is no comparing yourself to others anyway.

Another convincing argument for the radical reasoning I just made above is that thoughts and such without pleasure are nothing more than any other part of the brain for biological functions (such as parts of the brain responsible for movement, breathing, etc.). But pleasure is your emotional well-being here and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and is the only thing that allows you to make the best of your life. So this is why I come to the conclusion that living your life through pleasure (even if you were a psychopath) would be the only best thing here (only for you though) in this situation as opposed to living your life feeling numb and depressed and helping others being nothing more than mere biological functions (thoughts and actions). It would be better for you as a person because you would, again, be nothing more than mere biological functioning without pleasure regardless of how much you chose to help others and regardless of how much these helped individuals look up to you and admire you. They would have a pleasurable sense of high value and worth towards you, but you will not even be allowed to have a pleasurable sense of value and worth towards yourself in helping others and in them admiring and looking up to you.

But, however, it would be better for other people if you chose not to be the psychopath and instead chose to be numb and depressed and help other people. So even if you did choose to become the lesser (nothing) person with nothing more than mere biological functions, you would be able to help other people suffering which is obviously a great thing.

As for tying to make the best of your life and helping others and such having no pleasure (being nothing more than biological functioning), I would unfortunately have to say good luck on that. You will soon find that you are nothing as a person without pleasure regardless of how much you help others, regardless of who you are as a person and what your attitude is in life, and no matter what you do in life. You would find that life is completely worthless. As a result, you would then go to drastic measures to try and get your pleasure back such as electric convulsive therapy and wishing that you would rather be in a hospital bed with cancer and many other horrible things to happen to you at the same time--as long as it meant having your pleasure back.

[MattMVS7]

To me, it's not just some personal opinion--it is a fact. No matter who I am and no matter what I do in life, that does not change the fact that I am nothing more than biological functioning if I did choose to become the depressed and numb person and help others. If I learned anything from this suffering, I have learned that without pleasure, I am nothing and nothing more than biological functioning.

As for me being a sensitive human being, I am sensitive in the sense that I just wish to have my pleasure back, but I am a harsh and strict believer when it comes to hedonism:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism

Although you can consider me a sensitive human being when it comes to wanting to just have my pleasure back, you can consider me a sort of "drill instructor" when it comes to just how important pleasure is and that without it, I am nothing (nothing more than a maggot as a drill instructor would say regardless of who you are as a person and such if you were in the military). I guess, maybe, you can consider my arguments as a sort of encouragement to regain your ability to experience pleasure in life and to encourage you just how important pleasure (your emotional well-being) is. But if I can't regain my ability to experience pleasure (which is something I am thinking might happen to me), then I will forever be an inferior human being regardless of how much I did my best in life and such since, again, I would be nothing more than biological functions and that there is nothing in life (including making the best of my life and helping others) that will ever change that.

My arguments are also geared towards an audience who think that pleasure is not that important and that there are more important things in life that define your value as a human being. Again, I do not believe that there are such things because I would, again, still be nothing more than biological functioning without pleasure.

If I were to talk to someone about my inability to experience pleasure and this person were to just simply have little or no value towards my pleasure (emotional well-being) by saying something such as that life is not about pleasure and that there are more important things in life greater than your pleasure, these are opinions that I would absolutely hate which is another reason I have presented my arguments here for pleasure in the event that there are such people here so I can at least try to convince them otherwise.

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

If I were to talk to someone about my inability to experience pleasure and this person were to just simply have little or no value towards my pleasure (emotional well-being) by saying something such as that life is not about pleasure and that there are more important things in life greater than your pleasure, these are opinions that I would absolutely hate which is another reason I have presented my arguments here for pleasure in the event that there are such people here so I can at least try to convince them otherwise.

That sounds like a recipe for unneeded frustration. There are people who don't value pleasure and are content to go through life without it...does that bother you? While you may not resolve your panic/pleasure issues, you should probably get over giving a flying f what others think about it.