Fantasizing suicide

So, I've been fantasizing my death a lot. Borderline obsession. I enjoy watching about it- it gives me relief. I'm constantly thinking about it. Today, I was at the beach,& I saw a train a little bit away. I just stopped,& starting thinking about just jumping in front,& ending my life. Suddenly, I was happy,& had huge sense of relief. I had dream about suicide,& then I literally obsessesed with the dream,& fanatized,& thought about for awhile.

It's consuming, but totally comforting. It can calm me down.

I imagine my death. What it'd like. What people would do. How'd they feel.

I've researching too. Looking at methods... What's the bedroom. And just looking at suicide in

Please get some help, The Fox & the Hound. You are obsessed with harming yourself.

Suicide: Read This First

I wish you well.

(((((Fox))))). I understand the comfort that comes from suicidal ideation. Good luck.

It's one of the problems I have with dating. First it's hard to seem interesting when your goal in life is to die quickly and painlessly sooner rather than later. Then you think 'does this person deserve this burden'...and of course the answer is always no.

do you ever think about the HARM you would do to others? do you ever feel an obligation to those you leave behind?

I totally understand where you are coming from. It is the way my brian is wired, too. I find it comforting, too. My psychiatrist hasn't had any luck in helping with this feeling except to so far keep me from going through with any of the plans

You are not alone.

Seems to be a prelude to a tragedy.

I'm having a good amount of dreams about suicide too. It's weird. I love watching movies about suicide,& death in general. The thoughts aren't a cry for help anymore. It's seriously considering a fatal method.

I've been researching. What's the most fatal,& successful method. Least painful.

Fox please tell people and get help. You are only getting worse.

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Hi The Fox & the Hound, it may feel like this right now, but that doesn't mean that this is all there is/will be. Please find someone to talk to about the way you've been feeling.......a school counselor.........your doctor...........a hot/crisisline...........just someone??!!
You deserve more than to be feeling this way, and with some help.................

Alison

I know this sounds horrible, but I don't want anyone to know. So I can go through with my plan,& so I'm not stopped ,& so they don't have way of preventing me from doing so.

Hi fox, I am going through the same thing. For me I have the method the date etc. I have not told anyone I know for the same reasons but I have been emailing a group called the Samaritans. They ask why you feel this way, how etc. They don't try to talk you in or out of anything. They just make it so you are not alone with whatever decision you make. They ask you questions based off your emails discuss the finality of death, what you think is on the other side. It's far better than having to call. What you talk about with them is confidential.

Fox and the Hound

I can relate. I had something similar happen to me once. Mine was a near-death experience during an accident I had on a mountain while hiking. I had broken my ankle and couldn't keep my footing whilst I was trying to make my way down on essentially one leg. I slipped and I fell a far distance and was convinced I was going to crash into the rocks below and die. But, I was relieved and felt very good knowing that death was coming, I was looking forward to it. Before that day I don't know why that happened. It was since that accident that I started realizing things about me and when I started having problems in my life. That's when I realized I was depressed and unhappy almost my whole life and I didn't even know it.

Thanks for that, I'm going to try it. I think I'm having similar problems lately.

I have thought the same way and had it all planned out and it was comforting. It was my backup plan B and I kept it. I never told anyone. I still continued to seek help but I would not tell of my plan. I would just say I was suicidal in general but not tell of a plan. I have since come out of that state and have not had those thoughts in awhile. You can still get help Fox. You don't have to tell everything.

Fox, you have the capabilities within you to reach out to seek guidance and help. As zinco said not everything needs to be said. Good luck. (((((Fox)))))

Suicide is not the fault of the person. Its their illness or overwhelming feelings overpowering them.

Well that is exactly when you want to tell someone, and get some help...at least in my experience. Also though there is always the chance of failed suicide which would mean people still find out anyways and then depending on how one attempts might do lasting physical damage or something as well.

I have certainly been there before.

That's horrible when people attempt and end up with long term physical disability. I have experienced someone killing themselves recently by jumping in front of train I was on and a guy I met told me that his Dad committed suicide when he was just 16. His Dad was a Fireman.