overwhelmed

There's too many things wrong with me. I don't just have depression. I have like 5 mental illnesses. And it's really hard to do anything when it's like this. I can't even overcome 1 illness, let alone 5. Taking small steps and having small goals doesn't work. All of my problems are so interconnected and related that if 1 of them isn't fixed, it makes it so the other problems can't be solved. In otherwords, if all of my problems aren't solved, none of them will be. If I get over social anxiety, I'll eventually relapse because I'm still depressed and I still have body image problems and obsessive thoughts. It doesn't help that I'm addicted to porn either, which makes the whole situation 10x more complicated and difficult. This is too difficult. I can't do it. Its too complicated and overwhelming. I want to get over this already, but I fear that I'll never get over it and live my life. I'm sick of it, I want it to end right now, I'm sick of living like this, but the problem is, I don't know what the f*** to do. I wish it was as simple as being told what to do so I can get over this. But it isnt. It never is. I'm seeing a therapist, but how can he help me with all these problems? He can help me with a couple, but there's no way he can help me with all of them. I just feel trapped and scared. I just want to know what to do, I don't want to sit around day after day questioning things to know what to do. I'm confused and desperate for anything that can help me, my therapist and parents tell me to take small steps but what they don't understand is that all of these problems can't be solved separately. They have to be solved all together at once, and that's what makes it feel so difficult, even impossible. I'm so sick of waiting for something to help me, I want to live life already, I can't waste any more years like this. I'm 18 years old, I don't want to be worrying about this when I'm 28. It makes me hopeless to think about how little resources there are these days for mental health too. I just don't know anymore. I want to get past this but I don't know what I'm supposed to do, it's not necessarily that I wont. How can someone help me if they can't understand me? Seems like I should save my breath because trying to convince someone how I feel is useless and a waste of time. I'm just speaking nonsense and I kinda just get told that yeah, you're mentally messed up, just get up and do something. I'm so f***ing sick of hearing that phrase, it grinds my f***ing gears so much, well if I wasn't f***ing depressed in the first place, I would be doing something. No one can help me, I don't even know why I created this thread, I might as well be talking to the wall because no one is going to help me. So if your still reading this, which I'm sure you're not, it would be nice for some advice, but if you dont, I don't blame you, who would want to read this long useless rant anyways?

I read it all. My only advice is to find as many people as you can that might be able to help and not just a T. We can't do it alone I know that. Might take some time but people are out there. I find that people that suffer the same things as me help the most. It took being around a bunch of sober alcoholics for me to get and stay sober for example.

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well I have advice but I don't think you are going to want to hear it. it is what my t tells me. catastrophizing. I heard it the whole session on Monday. I have 5 diagnoses as well and while I agree they are all interconnected I have to disagree that they cant be addressed separately. you can address and reduce your social anxiety even if you remain depressed. so what if you relapse. relapses happen and can be expected. just because I am working on my anxiety and it is getting better doesn't mean I am not going to expect to be anxious again. I am agoraphobic as well. that has a lot to do with anxiety. and my ptsd. all we are working on is my dissociatve disorder. in working on that, my anxiety has been reducing on its own. if you work on your social anxiety, you may find you are less depressed because you are getting out more and doing more things. nobody can work on five things at once. a system cant handle it. it is too overwhelming. the mental health system sucks. you have to find a good therapist that specializes in what you have. you have to do a lot of reseach on your own. I have learned that the right meds are important as well. you have to be patient and work hard. and it will come. take care.

One of the things that frustrates me the most when I'm feeling at my lowest is when people give me lists of things to try in order to feel better. Read these books, see this therapist, go to this clinic, exercise more, do reiki, do yoga, meditate, change your diet, sleep more, sleep less, etc. ad nauseum. ONE suggestion is a lot to contemplate (like, how can I read a book when I can't even register what the title means because I can't focus??); more than that just pisses me off and makes me feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless. Picking ONE thing to focus on, a little at a time, might be a better approach than trying to tackle everything all at once. And although you might fault yourself for having undesirable behaviors, don't fault yourself for not being able to stop them all at once. It's not humanly possible. It just sucks that it takes time to pick through things a little at a time and still feel like crap in the meantime. Although I don't have all the same issues as you, I do know the feeling of utter frustration at not feeling ANY relief for what seems like forever. I hope your therapist and you are able to find little ways here and there to help you feel better and not feel so overwhelmed. Hugs.