[waterknob1234]

I had a couple of weeks where I thought I could see a ray of hope. I felt a little better. I guess I had some fun distractions. I went to a family reunion out in the country that I enjoyed. I also went to visit my son for his birthday. While my husband and I were visiting him we went to a football game. For a little while I was actually happy. I had forgotten what being happy felt like.

Then reality hit like a brick. Work was the usual hotbed of stress and controversy. Bosses and doctors complaining and griping. Nothing we do is ever good enough. Most of the griping is over trivial stuff and not patient related care. I am so sad and stressed. I got chewed out today and I will probably get chewed out tomorrow. I applied for 4 jobs and was turned down for all 4 positions. I am very discouraged now and my self-esteem has gone down to rock bottom. What is wrong with me? What have I done wrong? Have I offended God? Have I offended someone out there?

[TheOriginalMe]

I'm sorry you're going through a bad patch. Things will get better, you haven't offended anyone least of all God who is far too busy running the universe to get offended. Unfortunately because He is busy running the universe (imagine how hard it must be keeping all those planets and stars in their correct orbits, I can't juggle two balls or walk and chew gum) then petty people get away with nasty mean acts. There is nothing wrong with you and I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong.

Have you any more distractions to look forward too? If not, perhaps you could organize a little get together with family.

I hope things get better or at least reach the "tolerable" level soon.

[TheOriginalMe]

Here are my piggies, because I know you like to see them. They are Oxford Sandy and Black pigs by the way.

[Idiot17]

((((Waterknob)))) hang in there.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( waterknob ))))))))

[Frankbtl]

Hi waterknob, I'm really sorry you're going through such a hard time
And aside from the depression/stress/hopelessness you're feeling right now I can understand how it must feel to have hope/even a kind of sense of contentment (??) and have that whisked away/evaporate.
But that ray of hope can still be there............just beyond the way you're feeling, but still there. It is possible to feel that way remember, and just try to hold onto that
And work.......the gripping and complaining well that is their problem, do not take ownership for something you can't do anything about. Sure ask them to work with you on finding solutions or resolving things but if they've no answers/or nothing to work with well you're doing the best you can do........and don't feel at fault for that!!!
And I'll tell you what.........you're more interested in patient care than trivial stuff........hold your head up!!!! Be proud of who you are, despite what anyone is saying!!!
Now, there's going to be some trivial stuff to wade through and from what you're saying maybe people are going to be unhappy with you (as well as others!!!) but try to separate you/the effects on you as much as you can from it.........call it minutes/hours on the clock, but it doesn't have to be your life, you do/can have a life outside of all of this. And when you get home...........maybe something to distract you.............maybe relaxation exercises.........maybe time to unwind..........maybe time to "debrief" with someone???
And......."What is wrong with me?"........there's nothing wrong with you
You're definitely dealing with really stressful situations at work, you're definitely acting "normally" in these effecting you (just maybe try to minimize that a little??), you're finding it hard to get another job (I know that can sometimes be really hard ) and maybe you're feeling depressed........but with some help/support with that............there's nothing wrong with you and there can still be that ray of hope.

Alison

[SeekerOfLife]

(((((Waterknob)))

(((((waterknob))))) Sending many hugs your way. Sorry work is still so rough. I really hope things pick up for you. And hopefully you will have better luck with your job search.

There is nothing wrong with you, you haven't done anything wrong. It just is. There isn't a reason for it. I don't understand it myself.

Keep posting here, we're all here for you