Horrible backlash

Over the course of this past year my eleven year depression marathon seemed to be lightening. Last spring I had a relatively mild suicidal episode but it ended. Compared to what it was at 10-12 years old it was nothing. Over all it had been getting better. In fact just a mere 2 1/2 weeks ago I would've been able to post in the success stories.
A week and a half ago I noticed that my thoughts were getting a little morbid- not suicidal, just morbid. Not long after I noticed it some very serious stress symptoms kicked in. Just starting college and just moving to a new location in a new state likely contributed. Oddly enough since I moved here I was the happiest I had been since I was a small child- before depression.
Well that changed, things have been escalating very quickly this past week. What went from stress dived directly into some of the most severe depressive episode I have ever had. I haven't thought much on the how to die but more of the simply wanting so very badly to die. I feel like I've lost all control of my life. I had my depression pinned down, and now it has me pinned down. It's terrifying how quickly the tables turned. I'm afraid it'll get worse.
I won't do it though, I do have family, pets and a singular friend to think about... well I hope it's enough anyways. It was the last time I pulled myself from the edge, so it might be again.

I need help.

Hello & Welcome, Twichl. I'm glad you've posted.
Have you ever noticed a seasonal aspect to your depression (e.g. spring and fall)?
Yes, those are significant potential stressors.

Most colleges/universities these days have resources for students. Would you feel comfortable speaking to counselors there? I imagine you would have to impress on them yours is not a "new" depression.

Please make yourself at home here.

I hear you on the stressors. There are aspects that change in my life that I have no control over so I have to be very careful.

Have you established a care team for yourself yet?

Yeah, my depression worsens with clouds, hormonal shifts, and feeling rejected or alone tends to trigger it. Downcast weather has a significant impact. So it's a bonus I live in the sunniest state in the US. Unfortunately brilliant sun doesn't stop my depression either.

I don't know, never considered college having counselors to help with anything other than schedules and classes.
I'm not sure what they'd be able to do.
What do you know about counselors in colleges/schools? Or any counselors/psychiatrists? I've never been to one.

No, I do try to make my family and friends aware if things are getting worse. Getting the support is difficult. My brother doesn't know since we never had the chance to get close due to our age difference and his own family. My father has never believed me just figured it was a phase because "all smart people are depressed at some point", and this last time I told my mother it was worsening again she laughed at me. My friend who does actually care and tries to support me lives four hours away. At this point it's pretty much a solo job.