Reaching out

I don't know how to word this, really....

Occasionally, I come here and recognize an SOS....If I'm able, I reach out (not often publicly any more), and perhaps it matters, perhaps it doesn't. I don't really know. It seems to....

I FULLY understand the state of depression and it's limitations. I know that we're all here because we need and are hurting.

Sometimes, though, I wish someone who is able would recognize my SOS. Sometimes, things are bad enough that I will email someone I have communicated to in the past (a very VERY difficult thing for me to do). I get no reply. Occasionally I get FURTHER pushed away.

I feel very much unworthy.

If this is unclear, because I'm babbling a little, then feel free to ignore it.

Oh I can totally relate to what you're saying.
I find it hard to tell people when im in a bad state yet when in dire need I force myself to. And then I don't even get a response. It's tough.

I can relate to desperately needing the reassurances and comfort yet that desperation is not recognized by others.

I'm very sorry.
(((((Sophiesmom)))))

You're every bit as worthy as anyone else! What is upsetting you, can you identify something specific, or is it general depression?

Thank you. Your reply brought tears of gratitude.

Thank you. I tell myself that, but if it's not reinforced then it means nothing...it's a lie.

And WHAT it is, really is unimportant. Sometimes it's obscure, sometimes not.

There are a lot of people here who care what you're going through, like I do. I might not know what to say, but I want you to feel better. I wish I had the right words to help.

I am sorry for your pain Sophiesmom... personally I tend not to reach out any more. Few, if any, can really understand my pain & few know how to respond. So when I have reached out for comfort, or divulged my struggles, I generally just end up feeling exposed & foolish. I have reached the point where I no longer seek healing, either from within or without. My goal now is simply to sit silently with my pain with compassion & lovingkindness.

There is a wonderful book by Parker J. Palmer titled: A Hidden Wholeness- The Journey Toward an Undivided Life. In this book Palmer asserts no one can ever really understand another person's innermost feelings. They are too complex. All we can do, all we should do, is to stand at the edge of a person's sacred circle & provide quiet support for the person's self-healing. And so, with that thought in mind, please know I am standing at the perimeter of your sacred circle.

That's a beautiful thought.

I have been reaching out irl without much success, to the point where I'm so scared of rejection that I'm actually refusing help on the rare occasions it is offered, just in case it gets taken away again. Stupid or what?

I'm sorry that you are struggling, you are a lovely person and definitely worthy.

Not stupid at all...It's difficult to trust.

I think we learned the same things....Keep a stiff upper lip. Don't be needy. Consider yourself fortunate. Be good and be quiet.

I think that for me it's an emotional problem. I just want to cry to someone who will be on my side. Without judgement.

I suppose that my silent screams are not loud enough.

You also have made me cry, Skeez. Thank you for the lovely thought.
I'll take a look at that book.

I do think that we all need compassion. Nobody can fix us except for us.
But I am alone in a room full of people, here.

I hear an SOS. You are welcome to PM me anytime and I would respond. I am sure that is true for many others here.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you Zinco. It wasn't in any way a complaint, however. I know that there are many who care, including you.

My apologies to all. I feel as if I may have sent the wrong message, here. I don't communicate clearly, I guess.

I would like to let this thread die a quiet death, if that's okay.

That was pretty clearly communicated and very understandable.