Just want to die

So much has happened I am broken in pieces now. I ruin everything I touch. I have no life skills ,no real point to my existance. What do I offer? Misery? Pain?

Im just an empty shell coated with self loathing and hatred. This is the life I built.

I didn't build this life but at 5 I said bye bye im going to heaven now.... And since then, I've always preferred the thought of being dead. I've found, that we may have a purpose bigger than ourselves, and our experience may be passed to someone in the future. Who knows? But if you try to end it, and it's not your time, you can really do some physical and mental damage to your body that you have to live w/ the rest of your life.

That the most scary thing: damaging your body at a point to be brought to a worse situation where you have no control on your own life. I would like to learn techniques that help to endure the lowest points of depression within the cycle

I have been at that point of wanting to die. Hold on and stay safe until the real bad feeling passes. Underneath your depression is a beautiful wonderful person with a great purpose just waiting to come out. Blessings to you.

how ever bad things seem, theirs always a way out sometimes you just need a friend to help you see the light if you feel you have no skills, then why not try and develop some? maybee try volunteering or seeing if their are any college courses available? theirs always a way forward, sometimes depression lies and makes us feel worthless, when really were not. mental illness is evil because its hard to trust yourself. but know that you shape your life, you make the decisions if your not happy with it look for a way to make it better because we only live once and once this life is over, thats it theirs no way back. so make the most of what you have im sure if you looked at things harder or thought it over with a friend, you will see your worth more than your depression is allowing you to see. if you need to talk to anyone i am here

Thank you

What you've done in the past is what you knew how to do. It is not impossible to learn to do things differently from how you've done in the past. At least you recognize that you've "built" an unsatisfying life. Just the fact that you use the word, "built," means you are taking some responsibility for how your life is. It would be worse if you thought all your problems were due to you being victimized by others. So you've empowered yourself with the notion that the shape of your life is under your control. That's huge.

You don't have to keep doing things in the way that you've done things in the past. Habits are real hard to break, but it's not impossible.

And I have made changes but still feel the aftermath daily.