[Depressed_scientist]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum. I suspect I might be suffering from clinical depression. I graduated from school recently (a Ph.D. in life sciences) and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have been applying for jobs for 4 months but no job offers yet.

My depression started slowly but has picked up to the point where I can't sleep, I am never hungry, can't focus on anything, feel lonely, no self confidence. I have even started to cry privately at first but lately I have broken into tear in front of my family. I think they think I am nuts.

I am angry at myself for getting this down. How could I let this happen? Am I that weak?

[Rhapsody]

Hello & Welcome.......

And - NO - You are not that weak, for we all come to a point in out life where we can either move forward or fall apart, and if we choice to fall apart then we are given a second chance to fix the inner problems / wounds that still haunt us..... Hang in there and you will make it as the rest of us have (or) are doing.

YOU have found a WONDERFUL place to HEAL..... I Promise.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[Depressed_scientist]

Thank you, Rhapsody. I e-mailed a person I have never met about my situation and she recommended this site to me... and I am glad.

[Rhapsody]

Yeah - this site is wonderful...... I have been a member here on PC for a year now and the people have been very kind and really understanding - within my talking and sharing in the forums and thru PMs I have learned a lot, healed, helped some members and made many Friends.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[cajun]

Sounds like depression to me. See your doctor and let he/she know what is going on. Classic symptoms though. I would try meds first. That's all I needed. I tried to snap out of on my own and almost waited to late. Go as soon as possible to doc.

((((((((Depressed Scientist))))))))))))
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. You're going through a huge transition in life-You accomplished a great deal-congratulations on your Ph.D.
I'm sorry it's been so hard for you to find work. If you're trying your hardest, than that's all you can do.
You have the signs of depression but it doesn't mean that you're weak-you're a scientist, you should know better-you didn't do anything wrong. Nobody LETS themselves get down and out this badly for the fun of it. Please give yourself a break.
You're probably use to making big accomplishments but now you're feeling like you're not accomplishing anything-of course you're going to get sad. Now's a time for rest and rejuvinating your spirit-take advantage of it. It's all going to work itself out- you'll get a great job and have a fantastic career. It's just not going to happen as soon as you thought it would. Hang in there, Depressed Scientist.

[Depressed_scientist]

Thanks for all the positive messages -- I really appreciate them. I am feeling better today but "better" is relative. I cried privately about 8 times today. That is more times than I have cried in the last 5 years!

I have an appointment with a family doctor tomorrow. I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life... that is my biggest fear about the appoitnment. I'll write back tomorrow after my appointment.

Thanks to everyone again.

[sunrise]

Good luck to you, DS. It is hard to move forward with career and other stuff when you feel so low. I hope your doctor can help. If you combine therapy with meds, it can be even more effective than meds alone in many cases (studies have shown). So you could ask your doc for therapist referrals too.

[Depressed_scientist]

Just got back from the doc. He prescribed me Celexa and some pills to help me sleep and gave me a couple names of psychologists to see. I broke down in the doc's office and cried like a baby again -- I can't believe I can't control it!

Anybody have some first hand experience on Celexa? How long does it take to kick-in and what side effects are there?

Thanks,
DS

((((((((DepressedScientist)))))))))))) Sorry, I haven't any experience with celexa. I hope that you're okay. I'm sending out positive and healing vibes your way...

[snowflake_48888]

I am glad you made it to the doctor. I haven't any experience with celexa but it sounds like you are on the right track. Hang in there and you will get better. Call and get an appointment with the psychologist and talk out your fears and frustrations. As you do this you will start to feel better. One step at a time is what it takes....good luck.
Snow

[WinterRose]

DS - I'm glad you're getting assistance. The drug fear kept me from having a full life for years. After I took them, I realized I was more myself truly. Depression is supression for me. Try the Drugs forum regarding celexa - someone there might have taken it and know more first hand. The pharmacist and doctor ought to be able to answer your questions and concerns too.

Hang in there!

W.Rose

[jacq10]

I actually was on celexa around october, and imo it is a pretty good one. I dont think there are many side-effects (or at least i didn't experience any) .. and as for how long it should take? .. well its different with everyone ... but it took a good couple of weeks before i started to notice anything (around the 3-4 week mark probably). As you were, i was also prescribed sleeping pills at the same time, and those two worked pretty well hand in hand.

Hope this helped .. and hope you feel better soon.
Jacq

[Pomegranate]

I've been on antidepressant meds for over a dozen years now. Before that I spent another 10 years trying various meds that didn't help me and just gave me lots of side effects. The newer antidepressants saved my life. I know I would not be alive without them. As WinterRose said, I feel more like myself on my medicine. If you were a diabetic would not take your medicine everyday just because you don't like the idea of taking meds every day? I'm not saying you will have to be on meds the rest of your life. Most people don't. But if you should happen to be like me and need to stay on them, I just want to let you know there is nothing terrible about that. It's just like any other health problem that you would need daily medicine for.

Take care, good luck and make that appt to see a therapist!

[Depressed_scientist]

I made an appointment to see a psychologist on Monday. I don't have insurance and she is pretty expensive but my health should come first. We'll see. I never believed in psychologists before -- I always thought they took advantage of people who were sick. To me, the system seems innately flawed: If I get better then I stop going to therapy and the doc no longer makes money.

I am not suicidal but life just seems so hard right now that I almost wish I was sick and could lie in bed all day. I just can't seem to make any decisions... afraid to make a mistake.

Any religious people out there? What is the point of life? Why does God let us feel this way?

[Depressed_scientist]

I have no energy to do anything. Plus I am so tired but can't sleep. I take sleeping pills at night but I can't take them during the day.

What the heck. I feel so down... so pessimistic about life. Why?

[jefftele]

hi because you have an illness, keep in contact with people , take care