I don’t know what I am doing anymore. I don’t know how to get through this. The last three nights I have come so close to just ending it. Everything has been ready. But something right at the last minute stops me. Last night was the closest yet. I can just see it repeating every day until that something that stops me disappears and I do it. And I don’t know what to do. I am so sure that I want this, but that thing that stops me tells me I need help. And now I am confused. I just want this to stop. So tired of feeling this way.

[Idiot17]

((((((Secret)))))

The truth is that I feel like a massive burden. People that care about me worry. They try to do their best to help me. But everything in my head shouts no. I don't deserve your help. I can't accept your help. I have to do this my own way. I have to do this so I can set you free of me. Because your life would be better without me, without the worry of me and if I am going to make it through the day. I have to do this so you can enjoy your life without stressing about me. I have already pushed so many away from me...eventually you will be pushed away too. It's for the best that I just disappear. Then you don't have to worry about me and doing the right thing all the time.

[waterknob1234]

Hi secretwhisper. I am so sorry you are hurting so much. Maybe what stops you is somewhere deep down you want to live, just not with so much pain? You are not a massive burden and you do deserve help. You are a beautiful, good person. I can remember when I was at my worst you were there for me with kind words and a caring attitude. You are important. You helped me so much when I needed help. Depression makes us feel like we are bad or worthless, or that we are a problem or a burden but this is just not true. My prayer for you is that you can get the help you so badly need and deserve, and in some way have a better, peaceful life.

Hang in there secret.