[blackaspects]

I've suffered from MDD for over half of my life. It's almost destroyed my life several times. I've tried many, many medications that have only let me down, butI keep trudging along. I had a huge realization though. I've got to break my routine in order to get better, to fight this horrible depression. Now, this is going to be easier said than done, I realize that, but I've go to try. I've got to! Right now, I've got no other choice because everything is slowly, but surely, slipping away from me. All of my relationships are suffering tremendously from my depression and I can't let those relationships fizzle out. They're too important to me! The first routine that I need to break is that of me staying in bed or even staying in my bedroom. Just a not...I've also got agoraphobia. With that being said, it's going to be a challenge for me to move beyond the threshold of my bedroom door. I'm safe in my bedroom. In here, I can't get hurt! The rest of my house frightens me, not to mention the fear I've got about leaving the house. Ugh! Today, I'm going to try to stay out of my bedroom for the majority of the day. It's not like I don't have plenty of things to keep me busy, I just choose to ignore those things. Like I said, I'm trying to fight this! Yes, this is going to be hard for me. I'll probably cry a lot today and have some added anxiety, but I've got to try this.

[vital]

Originally Posted by blackaspects

I've suffered from MDD for over half of my life. It's almost destroyed my life several times. I've tried many, many medications that have only let me down, butI keep trudging along. I had a huge realization though. I've got to break my routine in order to get better, to fight this horrible depression. Now, this is going to be easier said than done, I realize that, but I've go to try. I've got to! Right now, I've got no other choice because everything is slowly, but surely, slipping away from me. All of my relationships are suffering tremendously from my depression and I can't let those relationships fizzle out. They're too important to me! The first routine that I need to break is that of me staying in bed or even staying in my bedroom. Just a not...I've also got agoraphobia. With that being said, it's going to be a challenge for me to move beyond the threshold of my bedroom door. I'm safe in my bedroom. In here, I can't get hurt! The rest of my house frightens me, not to mention the fear I've got about leaving the house. Ugh! Today, I'm going to try to stay out of my bedroom for the majority of the day. It's not like I don't have plenty of things to keep me busy, I just choose to ignore those things. Like I said, I'm trying to fight this! Yes, this is going to be hard for me. I'll probably cry a lot today and have some added anxiety, but I've got to try this.

Blackaspects, I LOVE THIS POST!

I also really get the idea that "SNAP CLUB" could help you.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

See post #45 for potential medical issues to check too.

RIGHT HERE!!
RIGHT NOW!!
GO GET EM!!

- vital

Good for you, it starts in the mind. Do your best to stay out of the bedroom today, hope it helps

[Fuzzybear]

[Creative1onder]

[QUOTE=blackaspects;4139337]I've suffered from MDD for over half of my life. It's almost destroyed my life several times. I've tried many, many medications that have only let me down, butI keep trudging along. I had a huge realization though. I've got to break my routine in order to get better, to fight this horrible depression. Now, this is going to be easier said than done, I realize that, but I've go to try. I've got to! Right now, I've got no other choice because everything is slowly, but surely, slipping away from me. All of my relationships are suffering tremendously from my depression and I can't let those relationships fizzle out. They're too important to me! The first routine that I need to break is that of me staying in bed or even staying in my bedroom. Just a not...I've also got agoraphobia. With that being said, it's going to be a challenge for me to move beyond the threshold of my bedroom door. I'm safe in my bedroom. In here, I can't get hurt! The rest of my house frightens me, not to mention the fear I've got about leaving the house. Ugh! Today, I'm going to try to stay out of my bedroom for the majority of the day. It's not like I don't have plenty of things to keep me busy, I just choose to ignore those things. Like I said, I'm trying to fight this! Yes, this is going to be hard for me. I'll probably cry a lot today and have some added anxiety, but I've got to try this.[/Q

Your letting things control you, squash you and frighten you rather than facing issues and empowering urself to make changes.

[blackaspects]

Thank you all for your replies. It's been a long, tough day, but I made it thru. I managed to stay out of my bedroom for the entire day today. I slept a lot of the morning, but on my couch this time. I was mentally taxed from costantly reminding myself to not go to my bedroom. By the afternoon, I was awake and alert and ready to try to do some things. I've not accomplished much today in the area of housework, which I need to be doing, but I think, most importantly, I accomplished my goal for the day. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

[Anxious Minds]

Have you ever heard of the Chinese finger trap? It's this crazy little tube that goes over your fingers like so:



The most fascinating thing about this device is that the more you try to fight it, the tighter its grip gets on you. Ironically, and against what you might intuitively think, the only way to free yourself from this trap is to release the tension and slide it off while its in its relaxed state.

The way you talk about fighting depression kind of reminds me of that (and it echoes my own struggles with depression in the past). We're so used to people telling us to get on our feet and go toe-to-toe with depression, that we forget that our depression is a lot like that finger trap. We give it power by fighting it and resisting it.

Interestingly, you won't find too many people telling you to lean into your depression, because that goes against every intuitive thing we've ever known. It doesn't make sense to us to stop fighting, because this disease grips us so strongly that it feels like it threatens our very existence.

I might suggest a less recommended path. That of actually giving up on that fight. Throwing up your hands in surrender and having the courage to admit that you can't beat depression in a fist fight. Instead, allow it to be a part of you and learn to detach yourself from it. Stare at it and observe it from the outside, from a new perspective. When the storm comes over you, train yourself to be still, to breath, to accept it while it's over you.

I think you'll find, as I did, that the less you fight it, the more it will actually loosen its grip on you. Next time you feel it coming over you, retreat yourself to a quit place and just sit quietly and let whatever thoughts are coming come over you. While they are coming, don't try to resist them or fight them...instead, examine them. Question them and verify their validity. When you're in the storm and these thoughts hit you, it'll become so fascinating how few of those thoughts carry any real truth or validity. They are ghosts...gremlins that take the helm of our minds and try to steer it into the ground. But when you look at them, and see them for what they really are, they begin to lose their power over you.

[Altered Moment]

That is often a strategy I use. It's a paradox. Full acceptance and surrender, when you cease fighting everything and everyone, it can be freeing and an agent of change.

If you still feel shame then you haven't reached full acceptance. It's about letting go of all shame and fear.

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[vital]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

That is often a strategy I use. It's a paradox. Full acceptance and surrender, when you cease fighting everything and everyone, it can be freeing and an agent of change.

If you still feel shame then you haven't reached full acceptance. It's about letting go of all shame and fear.

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That's very interesting zinco. I think this is closely related to the central message of Buddhism and there's even an "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" that might be close to the same idea

Acceptance and commitment therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

- vital

[Altered Moment]

Yeah it comes from Buddhism and AA. There is something called "radical acceptance" in DBT.

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[Altered Moment]

Sounds like the therapy you mention is just like meditation, mindfulness, and Buddhism. Not often you hear psychology acknowledge there is an "observer". It's kind of a spiritual concept.

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