Not seeing my family sometimes can get very lonely. I can't go back on it though because I may feel lonely now but I'm not feeling depressed or horrible about myself as they make me feel after spending time with them. I'd rather feel lonely.
But I am feeling lonely. It's not like a had a back up family on hand or even a close friend I could share some time with. I don't get out enough, I don't talk to enough people-I'm scared nobody will like me because of my anger issues that still aren't under control and eventually they seep through and people don't want to be my friend anymore. I'm not good with people. I can be defensive, selfish and boring 'cause I never know what to talk about.

I got a bunch of aquaintances but no friends.
I have no self esteem or very little.
I've been exercising-I'm thinking if I stick with it and I really get into it than maybe I'll join a gym and I can meet people that way. Exercise is supposed to help with that pent up negative energy so that'll help with the anger issues and being at the gym will help with the being alone issues. If I can get past my fear of people.
Also, I'm afraid I'll pay all of that for a membership but then not go, though. I'll see how dedicated I get to it and then decide.
Anyway, I just wanted to express that I'm lonely. I haven't been hugged in about a month. And that was from one of my aquaintances. I miss being around people.
So many people here at PC have families. I mean, their own families. A husband and kids. I don't even have that much. All I have are two stupid dogs.
I'm so pathetic.

Okay, I'm finished blubbering now.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Jax ))))))))))))) Sorry you feel lonely, it's a horrible feeling. I think you express yourself well on here and have good insight into yourself which is an excellent start to making real friends IRL..... at least those are my thoughts. You aren't pathetic at all..... I think you're very strong staying away from your family as you feel so terrible about yourself after seeing them..... I can certainly relate to that with my family.
btw I have no kids and probably won't.(kinda given up on that idea for lots of reasons ...).. its just me and Mr Bear. You have plenty of time to meet Mr(?) Jax and I for one am proud to call you a friend on here

Take care,
Fuzzy

Fuzzy, you're always so nice, sweet and helpful to me. Thank you sooo much for your kind words! (((((((((((Fuzzybear))))))))))))))

[lenjan]

(((((((((((Jax)))))))))) I know exactly how you feel, sweetie. I'm completely alone in a brand new town 250 miles away from anyone I know. (And I have the same issues with joining a gym! And the same fear of people.)

I know we can't physically touch each other, but you always touch me here with your kind words to me and your help when I most need someone. And I admire you for sticking to your guns and doing with your toxic family what I have only dreamed of. I think you are much stronger than you realize, and you're plenty likeable, and loveable. How about if we hang on to each other till we're able to find some IRL friends?



Love, Candy

((((((((Candybear)))))))))))
I'd love to hang out with you!

Thank you for your kind words and your open hand. I really appreciate your being nice to me.

[Soidhonia]

Hello Jax.
I think Joining a gym is a very wise idea and I hope you meet a lot of aquaintences there. There are also support groups in your area as well such as NAMI and DBSA if you are interested, along with other support groups that may be available in your area. NAMI and DBSA can both be found on the internet if you are interested. Also going to church groups or activities are a lot of fun as well. I hope the best for you Jax. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

Hi Soidhonia,
Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to you. I haven't been online for a bit.
I'll look into NAMI and DBSA. I'm still hesitant about the gym because of the cost and I'm not feeling that committed to the whole going to the gym routine just yet. But going to a class or something sounds good. I'm good with animals. I'm thinking maybe a dog training class for my one dog. He's becoming aggressive with other males because he's trying to protect me and his "girlfriend".
(((((Soidhonia)))))

hug those dogs..........mine give sweet unconditional love back to me..........xoxoxo pat

How bout it, Pat. I have a Golden Retriever, Aggie, and she is unbelievable with how generous she is with affection. My other dog, Yummy, just wants to play all the time-he's not very affectionate except when I scratch his butt. ??? He loves his but to be scratched. I don't know, he positions himself so that I'm scratching his butt all the time. I just go with the flow-if it makes him happy, why argue?
Anyway, yes, I do hug them lots and lots.
((((((Pat and Pat's puppies))))))))))))