[Mefisto]

Guys, did you ever feel like something is terribly wrong with you? Like for some reason, at one moment of your life, you became so defective and broken person in comparison to everyone else? Like you don't know what it is exactly, but its something with your brain, with your mind, with your body that is very wrong and makes you freak of nature, inferior person to every other normal human being? That something will always hold you from becoming successful, socially accepted person with fulfilled life with people who love you? I have been thinking about suicide a lot recently. I don't know what will prevail in my in the end - strong fear of death or strong loathment to my personality. I hope neither, but its unlikely. So, am i the only one with feeling like this?

[silentangel1969]

You are not alone

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Well it comes and it goes - not at the moment but it will return sometime. Hold-on - what am I saying? I am handing over hundreds of pounds each month to my therapist so it won't come back...

[Anxious Minds]

Your life is a product of billions of years of evolution. All the things that had to come together in order for you to exist are beyond our comprehension. You are here because the forces of nature had no other choice than to bring you into being. Nature doesn't make mistakes. Thats a product of our ego to think that we are supposed to be anything than we are right now.

There's an activity I do with my physics students in which I have them calculate the force of gravity they exert merely by walking into a room. It works out to be a very small number, but it's a number nonetheless. You are literally exerting a force everywhere you go just by existing and we can literally calculate that force.

To me I find some solace and humility in that. I don't have to do anything to be a force in the world...one that we all can measure.

That said, who are we to question who we are? We are the universe contemplating itself. That's powerful.

[Clara22]

Sure! Sometimes it is because society tells us "what being normal is". We have representations of "what being happy should be". Then we look inside and see we do not fit in those models. Sometimes we do not cover other people expectations then they think/tell we are weird and they discriminate us. Then somehow we internalize that and we feel we are weird and abnormal. But if we met with other freaks like us in a ghetto, we feel better.
Sometimes I think we have a certain amount of sadness running free in our mind. Then the sadness sticks to an idea and we think we are sad because of that, but in reality the sadness was already there because of the way our brain works. And many other causes and combinations of causes that I cannot even imagine. But, yes, I bet there are many people in this world that think there is something really wrong with them.
I am sending you a hug

I'm defective too.

[Mefisto]

Anxious Minds, i like your way of thinking, i met it before many times with other people. I wish i could think like that too, but im too pessimistic for it.

>You are here because the forces of nature had no other choice than to bring you into being. Nature doesn't make mistakes.
Its much simplier - im here because my nitwit pathetic alcoholic father was there when my mother wanted to get revenge on her husband who cheated on her. I mean, what kind of foundation is that? If it is not a mistake, then i don't know what is. Its not fault of the nature that people are too stupid to predict the result of their breeding experiments. The world is overpopulated already, many people in it should have avoided being born.

>That said, who are we to question who we are? We are the universe contemplating itself.
There are a lot of great people out there, who are good at contemplating universe. The world doesn't need people like me - whiny, weak, depressive parasites, who contribute nothing but consuming other people attention and pity.

[Mefisto]

Originally Posted by Clara22

Sometimes I think we have a certain amount of sadness running free in our mind. Then the sadness sticks to an idea and we think we are sad because of that, but in reality the sadness was already there because of the way our brain works.

That is actually a great thought. But it is exactly what is wrong with us and make us defective and inferior. This amount of sadness is not natural, its the result of some error that was made during development of our personality. Will we ever be normal human beings who able to feel happiness? Don't know about you, but its highly unlikely in my case.

[Clara22]

I think we have to forget about "normal". First, because we do not really know how other people feel inside. We just see their "persona", a facade. Also, because "normalcy" is not an univocal term, it can mean many things, it is ambiguous and very tied to cultures and historical periods. And for many other reasons I do not want to mention or discuss here not to bore you.
But, you are right. We have a condition (due to whatever reason) that impedes us to enjoy life in the way we think we should be enjoying. I believe that there are several tools to help us to enjoy life better. We need to try them and choose what is suitable for us. I think we can be able to enjoy life, maybe temporarily and periodically, with the appropriate support and commitment.
On the other hand I think that there are too many stressors, cultural mandates, market pressure, etc, etc, that are conditioning us. Part of the solution of depression is within society and external to us. I think if possible we need to engage in some activity to change the status quo somehow because this society is sick and sickening. In the meantime, we need to better develop coping mechanisms to face those society shortfalls. It seems a lot. But we are not alone. We have each other and it is good to have a platform like this, to help each other.
A hug

[Altered Moment]

There is something seriously wrong with my brain. I don't see it as making me defective or as having something wrong with my personality. No one is perfect. Everyone has character flaws and I have flaws. I don't see depression as a character flaw though. It's something I can't help. But yes I often feel there is something seriously wrong with my mental health. I'm no worse or no better than anyone else. It effects my life but lots of things effect other peoples lives. We're in it together.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Artchic528]

I know I'm defective.....I can't for the life of me even make a single friend...let alone a close one. I'm pretty much limited to online interactions for my social needs.

[TheOriginalMe]

I've always felt like I just don't get other people and they don't get me. At times I've thought this to be a massive defect, some catastrophic flaw within me. At the moment I think perhaps it is a tiny, miniscule difference barely noticable to anyone but myself. Either way. it comes down to low self esteem I guess, I don't believe that I have a right to be part of the human race and I am certainly not deserving of a fulfilling or happy existance. Sorry to be such a downer.

[Jolisse]

My brain may be defective, but I'm not.
Life is a struggle for me, but I keep moving forward and do the best I can.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Jolisse

My brain may be defective, but I'm not.
Life is a struggle for me, but I keep moving forward and do the best I can.

Good for you. That makes one of us.

[Jolisse]

Originally Posted by Mefisto

Guys, did you ever feel like something is terribly wrong with you? Like for some reason, at one moment of your life, you became so defective and broken person in comparison to everyone else? Like you don't know what it is exactly, but its something with your brain, with your mind, with your body that is very wrong and makes you freak of nature, inferior person to every other normal human being? That something will always hold you from becoming successful, socially accepted person with fulfilled life with people who love you? I have been thinking about suicide a lot recently. I don't know what will prevail in my in the end - strong fear of death or strong loathment to my personality. I hope neither, but its unlikely. So, am i the only one with feeling like this?

One bit of advice, stop comparing yourself to other people. Work on yourself for you, not what society tells you how you should be.

[Anxious Minds]

Originally Posted by Mefisto

Its much simplier - im here because my nitwit pathetic alcoholic father was there when my mother wanted to get revenge on her husband who cheated on her. I mean, what kind of foundation is that? If it is not a mistake, then i don't know what is. Its not fault of the nature that people are too stupid to predict the result of their breeding experiments. The world is overpopulated already, many people in it should have avoided being born.

Yet one simple decision made by either of your parents either way and you wouldn't exist it all. You see it as a mistake, but mistakes are things that happen when people try to make something happen, but it doesn't work out the way they want it to. It sounds more like the situation that you describe with your parents is something that happened because so many things worked together to make it happen. Your mother wanting to get back at her husband, your father being there precisely at that time, etc.

That said, though, it's probably irrelevant as to whether your existence is a mistake from any objective sense. What's interesting is that you feel it's a mistake and that you seem to hold some anger towards your father. I'm sure having an alcoholic father who, if he WAS around probably made your life miserable and if he WASN'T around probably made you feel inadequate or unloved, probably plays a lot into how you feel about yourself.

I'd say your relationship with your parents probably plays a huge role in you feeling defective.

Originally Posted by Mefisto

There are a lot of great people out there, who are good at contemplating universe. The world doesn't need people like me - whiny, weak, depressive parasites, who contribute nothing but consuming other people attention and pity.

Do you feel like people pity you?