My Low Self-esteem

One of my biggest problems, or facts, is my very..painfully..incredibly low self-esteem. I, from the moment I learned that there's stupidity and intelligence, thought of me as an utterly stupid human being. Whatever I do, doesn't impress, no matter how I do it.

My mom tells me that I am smart, but then I say to her: "Do you have any proof?" She then says: "Not for the moment", then all I know is that I'm depressed and stressed out afterwards.

Other than intelligence, I have a strong belief, or an absolute knowledge of a very confirmed fact (by me) that I am not good-looking, I seriously know that I am an ugly creature with a big nose, not a great hair, big lips, and much more disfiguring features. And then all I hear from my parents is that I am good looking, or handsome. Again, do they have any proof? Like an actual statement from someone outside the family (and I mean strangers) that I am good-looking? Or smart even? No, none whatsoever. I am quite aware of my slow thinking brain, I can't solve riddles that easily, or mathematic problems, and this is just an implication, or evidence, as I like to call it, that I am indeed dumb.

I just don't see why the world needs me, is all.

I graduated my school with a 3.6 GPA, I suck at riddles. My boyfriend has an almost genius IQ and is horrible at math (and dyslexic with numbers) . Those things are poor ways to measure intelligence.
Remember you're always your worst critic!

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Hi RenouncedTroglodyte, you're on here.........you're talking to us.........that's proof, you're smart!!!
And seriously, you can't solve riddles, you're not good at mathematics, maybe not good at some other things..........that in no way makes you dumb!!! There's all different kinds of "smart" and just because you don't fit into some particular "categories" of smart, doesn't mean that you're not!!!
To quote someone very smart from another thread "Granted, it is not perfect, but that is who we are, imperfect 3 dimensional beings".
And appearance..........well IF you're not "attractive".........and that's SO subjective..........there is going to be so much more to you than appearance anyway, there are so many more important things/qualities that count a lot more than appearance!!
Really, there are!!! Honesty........caring.........things like that.
You don't need to look a certain way to be valued, you don't need to look a certain way to value yourself!!!
Alison

See? I'm too stupid to not know that by myself, I need someone to tell me. That's my life's problem. At least your boyfriend has something that says "genius", I don't.

Thank you, very much!

that's the thing though, everyone has their own ' genius ' . you just don't know yours

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Alison, thanking you is just not enough, but thank you, for trying to help me and many others.

The quote, the us being 3 dimensional, is a fact, not a conclusion made by me, and I said we are imperfect, and I also consider that a fact.

My appearance might not matter to people, but it matters to me, if I'm ugly, which is what I am, I'm not comfortable outside home. I don't have high hopes when it comes to girls, because other than the fact that I'm always silent, mysterious, and broodingly shy, I'm not good-looking.

No one else can give you self-esteem. You get to decide what you like about yourself and what you want to change. Why would strangers comment on your looks and what would that "prove" about your looks (and why would you care what some stranger said about how you look, you won't ever see them again, you have to live with you).

Looks just are. They are pleasing or not depending on what you yourself decide. You are the one making the judgement. In the nineteenth century they liked full-bodied women and now they like waifs. So what? We're not interested in them, we're interested in you. Fashion is not Truth. Lots of men have big noses and got pretty girls (Aristotle Onassis comes to mind) and "stupid" is not any more definable than "nice" is. "Stupid" is a cop out. "Stupid" is what your self-esteem has come up with because IT is stupid, not You! Decide you want a different self-esteem and assemble it for yourself. It's all in your imagination, all your own opinion. I have a good sense of humor and know it because I enjoy laughing with myself constantly I crack myself up! I'm intelligent "enough" for me; I have a couple school degrees and learn what I want to learn. I enjoy my problems, they're interesting to me.

Hi RenouncedTroglodyte, you're welcome!!!
And.........."See? I'm too stupid to not know that by myself, I need someone to tell me"..........
Oh, I'm sure you knew that , it's more your self esteem probably drowned out/blocked out that possibility. And sometimes when we're feeling really bad about ourselves we need someone to point out/remind us of those sorts of things..........doesn't make you stupid at all, just means you need a little help with what you're going through, and nothing at all wrong with that.
And your appearance...........well you know anyone who discriminates against you based on your appearance isn't worth your attention, right??!!! You shouldn't be wanting their approval or acceptance if they are that shallow.
And girls..........well they're going to find all different types of looks attractive, different people go for different appearances............
Do you think it might help starting on building your self esteem/confidence up a bit first though?? Then leading to just casually chatting..........letting people (inc. girls) seeing the real/whole you??? It might take time to get to there, but maybe a better starting point???

Alison