[Ashley0000]

I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger, and I have occasional bouts of it but its never been an issue to the point where I've been really concerned but lately-I've been really depressed I'm graduating high school very soon and I've come to realize that my financial situation is a mess and that I cannot afford the cost of the deposit for the college I am planning on attending in the fall. On top of this I feel as though as long as I can remember a feeling of always wanting to belong and be accepted by others. And I put up with so much crap or at least I think so-and I feel as though I let others walk all over me-especially my friends-some of them are younger than me and are very immature at times-and will be upset with me over something stupid and be over it the next minute. With someone as insecure as I am its hard to deal with these constant ups and downs -I need security in my life and I'm not sure when I am going to find that. Does anyone have any ideas that would help me cope better? because I keep what I really want to say to them inside and then all of a sudden I'll just flip out and completely lose it(in appropriate situations like @ school)-and that can't happen and when i try to talk to them they either get mad or brush it off so i'm not quite sure what to do....help if you can!

[shakes]

Ashley,
Well sweetheart it seems that you have a lot on your plate right now. If you are feeling overwhelmed (and it appears that you are) perhaps you should consider talking to someone like a therapist or a school counselor. They could probably help you sort out some of your feelings and give you some advice on how to handle your situation better.
If you feel as though your depression is starting to bother you perhaps seeing a therapist is a good idea. While I am not an automatic pusher of meds i am sure he or she could recommend what is best for your situation.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Depression can definatly throw you for a loop. The stresses you are dealing with now with graduation and starting college is something alot of people deal with ...

If this is really bothersome then talk to someone before you leave, maybe find someone to talk to you while you are in college as well, shop around.

It seems like you have alot on your plate right now, it will just take some time is all.. Try to think postive, it's going to be a big transition for you, but i'm sure it will be a very postive one.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[lostandunsure]

Hi Ashely,

I'm new here, but i understand what your going through...i went through it about 2 years ago...sweetie your overwhelmed....sometimes i know it seems things are going really bad, but you know what? Look at all you have accomplished...your graduating high school and your going to start a whole new life...i think most of us were scared at your age....As far as college goes...check into grants and outside loans if you don't have the money up front..there are some great loan programs out there....the one i used with a very low interest rate was sallie mae....here is the webiste if you would like to look into it...www.salliemae.com....they also have government grants that might help with your sitituation....sweetie...look back at how far you have come and smile...your doing great..i wish you all the luck in the world, work on your deep breathing ,you will succeed

[Ashley0000]

Hi,
Thanks for your response to my post-and your advice i really appreciate it...its good to know that I have people who understand what i'm going through and that i won't be alone, I really need that right now its a countdown of 35 school days after this april break till graduation and now I'm freaking out-this place has been my second home for the past 4 years and I'm leaving behind friends and teachers that I'm very attached to...terrified...so thanks for the support I appreciate it....-Ashley

[texdave]

If you aren't getting what you need from your friends perhaps you can try to cultivate a relationship with at least one other person you can talk to. It doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with the younger ones, but you may be ready to move on. Have you asked yourself why your friends are mostly younger? There may be a partial answer there.

[texdave]

P.s. you belong here, and I accept you! I truly do! We all want to belong and be accepted, some more than others. I drank and did drugs to overcome that insecurity. It worked for a while, but made it worse in the end. I find that comparing myself with other people is an exercise in futility. I can always find someone I don't measure up to, or that I percieve is "below" me. Really, with the mask off, we are all human beings with the need to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted. In financial situations (I'm in one now btw) the fear of insecurity is always worse than the reality. Just do the best you can today, right now, and things will work out. Tomorrow is not here, there is nothing you can do about it. Thank God. All we have to do is right here, right now. Ok, this is the end of my sermon!