Will start university this year. Fear of dropping out (again).

I am 21 years old. At 19, I started university abroad (European Law in Maastricht University, Netherlands). However, I dropped out the very first year because of 2 reasons - the subject and the exams were too much and hard for me and because I experienced...student life (partying, drinking, etc). I wasted a very large amount of money from my parents and they never learned about the second reason for my failure... Now, 2 and a half years later, I have moved in the UK and want to study and set up a new future with my girlfriend (who studies here as well). I am starting uni in September and will study Marketing. However, the failure in the Netherlands and the feel of guilt towards my parents left a huge trauma in my head. Ever since, I haven't been able to concentrate properly on studying and whatever I read, I forget shortly afterwards.

The stakes are too high this time, but I don't want to stay uneducated for the rest of my life. If I fail this time, I am going to owe the UK a student loan of around 27 000 pounds (Bachelors is 3 years x 9 000 pounds). This failure will probably make me bound to stay in the UK for the rest of my life since I slowly will have to re-pay my debt. The more time passes and uni comes, the more I fear about failing again...

Can you recommend me something (besides consulting a psychologist) and possibly give me an advice? You don't know how much I would appreciate this... My girlfriend always tells me to believe in myself and that I will make it this time, but I don't believe in myself... Thank you for reading my story.

University is hard, but worth it. From past experience, I had a hard time and had PTSD from my first degree. I recommend talking or writing about the experiences that you went through. It is hard but worth it. Make an action plan for the steps needed before you go back, and during. If you need help, I would be willing to help. Or post ideas here for more input. You can do this!
Some positive affirmations can also help, repeat them often until you believe in yourself.

If you tell your university about this they can really help.

I was in the same situation. But now if you have depression that is classed as a disability while studying at university.

They can do a lot to help, as you are paying for your fees you gain access to a counsellor, mental health team and psychiatrist.

The only advice is, learn from your past mistakes, you know what does and doesn't work for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you for the replies! There are 4 months left until the start of my uni year, and I have never felt so nervous... Because of that, I have devoted to living for the moment. I go out to pubs, walks, I throw money excessively for good and tasty things to cook/drink, but inside I am so scared... What happens if I fail again and have to re-pay the debt with having failed? Will they send me to prison? How am I going to look my parents and girlfriend in the eyes again? I just... don't know what to do. Sorry for my post, just sharing my thoughts...

You only repay in UK if you earn a above a certain amount.
Try to tackle one problem at a time like what you need to do tomorrow and save your worries for three years time until then. Problems are more manageable one at a time. You are older and wiser now.

I withdrew from university my second semester there. You have to make the decision that you aren't going to fail and do whatever you can to make sure of it, keep up with your work every day and just push through. What else is there to do?

I understand your anxiety venom - I just wanted to say hang in there; and best wishes with your studies.

I found this good blog for you here at Psych Central; which may be of some help to you -

10 Highly Effective Study Habits | Psych Central

I've got a couple of suggestions.

a) Read this thread http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

b) You can find relief from your fears from forcing yourself to study really hard every day. It's not easy to start, but if you keep doing it, you'll find that you gain a great deal of confidence and your fears of failing will diminish. If you classes have not started yet, all the better. Get the books you're going to use and really study them, do all the problems, etc.

- vital

Hi
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience. in my opinion (I am not an expert, just a user of Psychiatry) your anxiety is affecting your life in a way you may have to do something about. I am not sure what really happened to you in the Netherlands and how much a psychological condition could have influenced your behavior there. But you are right it is better to make sure you succeed this time. Taking care of you mental wellbeing by visiting a professional of mental health seems to be a good advice. in my case, i get therapy and medication and I have improved a lot. Also, coming to this site has been very helpful. About a tip, I would tell you to change living for the moment to living in the present moment, which is substantially different. I will post a couple of links for you to read, if you like. I wish you the best

https://www.psychologytoday.com/arti...-in-the-moment

Thanks for the replies... Right now, going to jail because of failing uni and not being able to re-pay the debt has become my worst fear. I recently saw "Shawshank Redemption" and my anxiety became even worse... I read Fizzyo's post that I re-pay only if I earn a certain amount of money, but somehow, I still fear of being imprisoned...