Tired of Trying

Has anyone ever hit a point where they are just sick of trying to make things better?

I've been depressed since I was a little kid, long before I actually knew what it was. I've tried therapy, meds, exercise. Therapy doesn't work for me; I'm so shy and distrusting that I can't open up to them. The only reason I can open up more online is because I'm anonymous for all intents and purposes. Medication in general is rather mysteriously ineffective on me, and medication for depression wasn't any different. Exercise didn't do anything, either for my weight or mood. I have few friends anymore, and spend as little time with the ones that have stuck around as possible because I know I'm something of a buzz kill. I really only go to work and go home because I just don't have the money to go out these days, nor the will to either.

I'm tired of trying here. I'm tired of looking for solution after solution and getting my hopes up that I will finally see some light at the end of the tunnel only to be horribly wrong. I'm not saying I am on the verge of suicide or anything, though if I were to get hit by a car or get a fatal disease I'm not sure I'd be too upset over it, but how much is one person supposed to take?

Hello Quiddie: I'm sorry to read that your life has come to this. I know something of what you're feeling. Psych med's haven't ever really done much for me. I've been on Cymbalta for the past 2+ years. I stayed on it mostly because it seemed easier to stay on than to get off. But I don't know that it really did allot for me. (I'm currently tapering off of it due to cost considerations.) I also don't see a therapist. I've seen several over the years but it's just pointless. I don't have or seek any friends. I pretty-much just keep to myself. (I wrote, in another post, that this is my gift to the world! It's difficult to keep going year after year. I hope that somewhere you will be able to find the strength to keep pressing ahead.

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time Quiddie-depression can be so devastating-it robbed me of a huge portion of my life. It does take a lot of energy to fight it-I had a bad experience with meds a few years ago but am doing well on medication right now. Therapy I'm sure doesn't work for everyone but you might just need to find one that is a good fit for you. I eat a really healthy diet, exercise, meditate, draw, paint, blast music, hike etc.
Try to find even a small thing that is positive for you & work from there-for me some days it's watching my cat do incredibly silly things that can perk me up. Please keep posting & let us know how you are-there are many of us here that have absolutely been where you are at right now-take care

The problem is if something does perk me up, it lasts minutes at best. It's not like I get a perk and can hold on to it for a while. My cats will do something that makes me laugh and the minute they stop doing it, the good feeling is gone again. I can't hold on to it, even if I try to laugh at the memory of what they are doing.

I feel the same way.

I feel like I'm kind of sick of trying, day after day, too. I feel like nothing makes me feel better and I'm just going through the motions. Maybe I need to increase the frequency of my ECT, I don't know. I do know I'm stressed out about starting to work. I have enough trouble just putting one foot in front of the other without the stress of work, but I have to try I guess.

Hi Quiddie,

The fortunate thing about depression is that there are a bunch of things like diet/nutrition/exercise/meditation which have a really good chance of working and are also great for you anyway. What's the downside? You could end up still depressed but much healthier.

Here's what I think is the best overall plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4162657-post74.html

I really also think that "SNAP CLUB" as described here

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

is a great way to start because it is so easy and usually works quickly and sometimes has a huge effect. It could really help you take other steps that you might want to try. Once you find anything that you yourself can do to improve, it can be very empowering.

Also, I think you should give exercise another shot. Just about everyone I've seen who tries it says that exercise has at least some positive effect, at least in the short run.

Also, I think it's really worth checking for underlying medical/nutritional issues. You can see some listed in the plan above. If you have any of these common problems, fixing them is likely to be hugely helpful.

- vital

Doctors have ruled out anything physically wrong with me outside of any possible food allergies, mainly because the whole gluten/dairy allergy thing is so new most doctors don't deliberately test for it. However, I tried on my own to see if outright eliminating both gluten and dairy helped. It did not.

I tried eating healthier, and lost 135lbs doing it. I'd say the exercise helped the weight loss too but I honestly wasn't doing enough of it in that period of time to really be sure so we're just going with eating better. Didn't help, and I've gained most of that weight back.

I tried exercising regularly by doing...something at least every other day for 30-60 min (usually walking/jogging) over the course of 3 months until I gave up. Didn't help. And that was brutal for me. I really hate exercise.

I even tried Snap Club because I saw something else about it on these boards before I actually joined them. Didn't help, and I honestly just felt kind of stupid snapping all the time (or in my case flicking my index finger because I couldn't snap like that all the time at work). I'm glad it worked for you but it didn't really do anything for me.

I don't know what else to try.

People seem to regularly have success with meditation too, but they usually say it takes a couple of weeks doing it regularly to kick in.

You're actually the first person I know of who said that exercise did nothing positive at all. The same for snap club actually. What about vitamin B deficiency, Omega 3 fat deficiency, hypothyroidism? I am noticing that quite a few people suddenly get better just from doing something like taking B vitamins. The fact that nothing else even makes the slightest dent in your problem makes me suspect a little that it's something physical/nutritional.

How about a therapist? New insight could help.

- vital

yes i feel like this a lot. it feels like no matter how much i do its never enough, or whatever i try to do it all goes wrong. i know what you mean...

I've often been tired of it, yes. I realized at a very young age that there is no such thing as the just world, and that the good things would have to be fought for tooth and nail even though some were simply born into them. I don't think I'd fit well into the "normal" life, though. There are as many destinies out there as there are people.

While depression can last for days on end, I've always found happiness to be fleeting. I think it's easy to start sliding if you look at it as something that's supposed to stay as strong as it always was, when it may be more along the lines of something that helps to insulate you and remind you that there are still places to turn.