that time after leaving a social setting

That time alone, after you've been out, finding those creeping feelings of depression, loneliness, dread, coming out from under the rock they have been hiding under that very soon overcome whatever joy you found being out enjoying yourself. It happens often enough so that I am certain it is just not a random event.

I crave being alone but I fear the loneliness. Freedom from anxiety but susceptible to depression. That balance that is never quite attainable.

Maybe it's time for a breakdown, just let it wash out as I take a long shower. It seems to come easier there and it has been awhile for me. The warmth of the water, the nakedness, the isolation knowing you will not be disturbed or heard, all probably help in allowing for this happen.

Sorry, been struggling with this since yesterday and ended up talking too much about myself.

I debated posting this but I know other residents feel this way as well. So why do you think this feeling of anxiety, depression, panic comes after you have been social? Why does the positive experience fleetingly disappear? Any ideas?

I have read about it possibly being borderline or dependent personality related.

Know the feeling but don't have answers to your questions
(((hugs)))

Hi striking,

I think it's all just depression. Depression does sneak up on you while you're not paying attention. Suddenly, you're in it again, at least for a while.

On the surface, social situations are supposed to be fun. They can be, but, also, as social animals, our social status is important for our very survival. Even slight negative cues in such situations can be very significant and can be very threatening and stressful. When I was depressed but sort of functioning, I would often enjoy the start of social events but end up feeling horrible and trapped and helpless by the end.

- vital

It could just be depression, its an issue I have not explored much. Mostly because I spend very little time socializing so it is hard to assess properly.

I have spent the day sleeping since writing this thread. And now I have to go to a bbq. I need to roll out of bed and carry on.

I get these feelings too, but sometimes they hit me in the middle of the social situation, before I've even left.

Same here. It comes back right after I attend a social event or do something fun. That high that I get when I'm around people is there but when I'm alone, I'm scared of the loneliness. Is it perhaps a lack of self - love or compassion for ourselves that we are uncomfortable being alone? At least, that's how I feel. I think I lack self - compassion that sometimes I fear being by myself. And sometimes I can't find anything to keep me busy or stay focused.

Good point, Vital. There's an urge to have human contact but as soon as it's over, the loneliness creeps in. How have you overcome this? I feel that way a lot.

I worked on depression in general rather than anything specific for social situations. I do a bunch of healthy things for depression, but the main thing that helped a huge amount was "SNAP CLUB" ( see http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html ).

Being un-depressed now, I really see a big difference in how others interact with me. People randomly smile and talk to me much more than before. I think it's partly just that when you feel good yourself, you naturally wish others well and people can sense both of those things. I can still get a little stressed in social situations sometimes, but it much much milder than before.

- vital

Yeah it can happen during an event too. But what triggers that cliff dive? Is it that our brains overcompensate in some way to deal with the social activity and when its over or we reach lull, there is this imbalance that remains and we find ourselves unable handle it?

Hi Every One, I have become aware of this too lately, I am out at friends and when I come home my mood drops and I see that I am falling into depression. It is frustrating and I some times think to isolate my self totally to avoid this, but I know this is not a good plan and that it is better to socialize if I can. Until I saw this thread today, I was unable to put my experience of this into words, so thanks for the support I get from knowing that it's not just happening in my world.

I talked with my pdoc about the phenomenon. He suggested that it could be that our brains are producing endorphins to deal with the stress. When those stop being produced we become susceptible to feelings of depression.

Since social experiences maybe rarer for us, it makes sense that we would be impacted more severely than others without anxiety or depression issues.