Hello my friends, its been a rocky road in my existence, Almost envying those around because of my own hate to myself. Depression is the most live shattering illness at my stage. Being 17 hormones are fading yet still have a impact daily.

Professional care has shown no help what so ever to help. Therapy shows signs of frustratioin if everything, mainly do to the lack of help they( the therapists) put forth. I can no longer depend on a paid professional to fill my mind with positive thinking when they themselves no my thinking is netural thought processes.

My life lately is so confusing,frustrating and sad. I havent been myself in months, constantly going down the teenage path of immaturity of getting closer to there mistakes which last for years. I'm lately becoming a bum,a outcast of misbehaving and picking on others. DOES ANYONE know how I'm feeling? I'm loosing trust in myself to fit in with the cruelty I so strongly speak against.........

Lately these shootings have made me realize we as humans must be slaughtered to get recogniction. I've been to 5 or so funerals of my loved ones, they are now forgeten even my mom said she is slowly forgeting her parents, how they talk, and even more so how they acted, she hates it. Man kind is at a fault of public sin, their( the media) are living a lie of making life "just" that much harder on the victims family.....

God Bless VA tech, but also God Bless yourself even if your alive.

[MissCharlotte]

(((((((((Moonkin))))))))))

At 17 your hormones are not fading!

Therapy is difficult and it is a lot of hard work. You have been showing tremendous courage by continuing to go despite feeling like you are not making progress. Please share these thoughts with your therapist. It might help you to feel "seen." I too have struggled with the disappearance of myself from time to time but have come to realize that it is necessary to keep sharing ourselves with others. As humans, it is in a social context that we can begin to see ourselves. Don't give up! Keep sharing here. We are here to help you.

[downandout]

You're only 17? You're very articulate for your age.

My daughter is a teenager and I know she has a lot of sadness--lack of confidence, etc.

However, even though I struggle with my own demons you are so young; and remember you have a purpose in this world. Being a young person in this world at this time is incredibly hard.

Journal; write your thoughts down. That has always been theraputic for me. Best of luck.

[Direction]

There is hope...

I don't remember how long you have been seeing someone professionally. It does take time.

After being with a p-doc for 2 1/2 years I am making a switch. Someone who has been listening. Someone who is also coming up with a different diagnosis.

What have they officially diagnosed you with?

What medications are you taking and for how long? If for a "period" of time - maybe it's time to change.

Definately write your thoughts down, so you can share them with your doctor...

moonkin(((((((((((((love))))))))))))))))

my daughter just turned 18 and i have a son of 15. what you are going through sounds so familiar to me. my daughter has been through the same and also has seen a therapist for a short time. she is just begining to 'find herself' and her confidence and her place in the world. i was so scared, worried, but my son is starting the same process and i have to say i am confident that this time i will worry less as i know it is the norm (for the want of a better word)
sweetie you can pm me any time and maybe even speak to my daughter if you wish. just know you have friends here to lean on and support you, you will get over this and i'm sending you gentle hugs and positive thoughts

lots of love - jinnyann