Need Help. Goin Crazy. If Your Gonna Read This The Least You Can Do Is Reply.

Ok I See People Reading This But NOt Replying. You Just Wanna Read It TO Hear Peoples Stories. Fuccin Respond. You People DOnt Care. Dont Bother Reading If You Dont Care To Respond. This Is Just Another Funny %#@&#! Story To You People Aint It.

Ok I Dont Know Whats Wrong With Me Lately. Me And My Fiance Have Had A Great Three Years Together But The Past Year I Have Become A Whole Different Person. Im Always Feelin Like Im Gonna Lose Him Even Though He Has No Intention On It. Hes Never Hurt Me Or Cheated And He Really Is The Perfect Man. We Go Out With Our Friends And I Start Getting Mad Cause I Feel Like Everyone Around Us Wants To Sleep With Him. Like I Always Hear Soemone Say Thats His Girlfriend Or I Think I Do And I Think Everyone Is Tryin TO Take Him Away From ME. When I Go Out Places I Hear People Laughin And Lookin My Way And I Feel That They Are Talkin About Me Or Making Fun Of Me. I Stay In The Room All The Time. I Feel like His Family Dont Like Me And They Are Always Talking %#@&#! But He Says They Dont. I Hate Larger Groups Cause I Always Feel They Are Talkin About Me In SOme Way. I DOnt Know But It Gets SO bad TO Where We Leave. Our Relationship Is Awesome And I Would Never Hurt Him And He Would Never Do Anything. Ive Been Away From HIm For Monthes On End(military) And Never Once Did He Do Anything With Another GIrl. I DOnt Know Whats Goin On In My Head But Its Freakin Me Out Cause We Watch Tv And I Feel Every Girl On TV That Is Remotly Hot Is Gonna Like SOmehow COme Through The Tv And Take Him Away.

My Whole Life People Have Left Me. My Mom My Dad So I Think Maybe There Is An abandonment Issue. I Already Know I Have Depression(bipolar) Runs In My Family And I Have Seen A Doc For It. Can Anyione Help Me Or Let Me Know That Im Just Bein Stupid.

I Dont Know Maybe Im Just Bein Rediculous.

i also cant have my back towards and open space so if im layin in bed my back has to be towards the wall if i lay in the front i have to face the closet and door. all doors to the bedroom have to be locked before i can go to sleep.

if i dont get the mail and someone else gets it and theres nothing for me i feel that whoever got the mail is hiding my mail from me.

I See People and things. One Night I Was Sitting In My Room And I Looked Oveer And Saw Alittle Boy And Aguy With sholder length black hair but i couldnt see there face. i just see things and i follow horoscopes and they always come out right.

i have dreams and then a few weeks later they happen. i i tell someone about it it doesnt happen the same way but if i keep my mouth shut it plays out the same as the dream.

Help Me. I Feel Im Goin Crazy.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this. It sounds like you have insecurities that are affecting you. Sometimes we hear these louder than what's actually going on. Do you have a therapist? Mine helped me figure out what was really happening. Our perceptions can be colored by our past experience.

i dont have anyone to talk to thats why im on here. i know he would never do anyhting to hurt but i have cheated on him maybe i feel guilty. he knows what i did and still never cheated n me he has forgiving me and we r getting married this year and we plan on having children but i wanna get help first.

Another Thing I Dont Think Its Insurity Cause Im Am A Really HOtt Girl. IIve Won Pagents And Not An Ugly Girl At All I Could Have Anything I Want. But Why Am I Feeling This Way.

Hi Mpyzck....

No one here can diagnose your particular issues but we certainly can and do listen...

First I think it is wonderfull that you want to clear up these issues of pain, visions, and fear of abandonment that you are experiencing...before your marriage...that shows character and guts...good for you...

Though we can listen and maybe offer a suggestion or two what you have described here is best delt with on a professional level...

Do you have a therapist?...Have you ever talked with a professional?

I really think that a few session with a competent therapist will clear things up a bit for you...

But again, your display of concern and reaching out is a great start to finding the answers you seek...

IMHO.

Lenny

Hello mpyzck,
As Lenny has noted, no one here is a doctor so we can't offer a diagnosis. But it's possible we can assist you in sorting out your problems or pointing you in the direction of someone or something that can help.

mpyzck: The Past Year I Have Become A Whole Different Person...

I'm wondering if there has been anything of significance that occurred in the past year. For example, did you go through some sort of major life event such as a car accident and then became different or did the differentness come on slowly over time, independant of any triggering event?

Ive Been Away From HIm For Monthes On End(military) And Never Once Did He Do Anything With Another GIrl.

When reading this statement I wasn't sure if you were in the military of if he was. I ask because male combatants and female combatants may respond to military duty differently. For that reason, if you were a female with a military duty I might recommend different links than I would for a male with the same history .

Another Thing I Dont Think Its Insurity Cause Im Am A Really HOtt Girl. IIve Won Pagents And Not An Ugly Girl At All I Could Have Anything I Want. But Why Am I Feeling This Way.

Even beautiful people don't want to lose the people they love. Obviously, you love your boyfriend very much and he probably represents a lot of security to you. If you lost him -- for any reason -- you'd still be deeply hurt by that even if you were the most gorgeous woman on the face of the earth.

My Whole Life People Have Left Me. My Mom My Dad So I Think Maybe There Is An abandonment Issue.

This seems a valid self-assessment. The irony is, if you're a person who has been abandoned in the past you might not begin to deal with the pain of those losses until you're in a relationship where you feel safe on an emotional level. It's quite possible you feel that degree of safety with your boyfriend and that's why all this stuff is coming up now.

i also cant have my back towards and open space so if im layin in bed my back has to be towards the wall if i lay in the front i have to face the closet and door. all doors to the bedroom have to be locked before i can go to sleep.

This is a ritual of reassurance and it tells me that you're frightened of something -- can you identify what that something is?

Like I Always Hear Soemone Say Thats His Girlfriend Or I Think I Do And I Think Everyone Is Tryin TO Take Him Away From ME. When I Go Out Places I Hear People Laughin And Lookin My Way And I Feel That They Are Talkin About Me Or Making Fun Of Me. I Stay In The Room All The Time. I Feel like His Family Dont Like Me And They Are Always Talking %#@&#! But He Says They Dont. I Hate Larger Groups Cause I Always Feel They Are Talkin About Me In SOme Way. I DOnt Know But It Gets SO bad TO Where We Leave.

I'm guessing it's this kind of behaviour that prompted you to post in this particular forum. Please bear in mind, in and of themselves, withdrawal and fear is not necessarily an indication of psychosis or schizophrenia -- it's best to take a look at the entire picture of what's going on in your life before coming to any conclusions.

Overall, I'm in agreement with others that I think a therapist could be helpful for you but whether or not you can go that route depends on whether or not you can afford therapy, if you have access to therapists in your location, or if you can find anyone you like and trust enough to open up to. What kind of therapist you could see might further depend on your personal circumstances. For example, as based on the little bit you've shared about yourself, therapist options might include a therapist knowledgeable about PTSD and combat trauma; a marriage or relationship therapist; a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in anxiety disorders, etc.

I hope you'll respond and provide more information but please, only share the information you feel comfortable sharing. Naturally, it's not necessary that anyone here knows your real name or where you live. We can offer support and resources without knowing those details about you.

Wonderfull thoughts and ideas spiritual emergency...

Lenny

Thank You For The Replys. They Were Very Helpful. Nothing In My Life To Tramatic Has Happened. I Was The One In The Military And That Could Have Been The Trama You Were Refering Too Cause It Was Extremly Hard For Me Emotionally And Physically. I Was In The Marines. I Also Had Another Problem Today. I Left My Drink In The Kitchen On Accident When I went TO Get It My Fiances Brother Was Leavin The Kitchen. Im Afriad He Did Something TO My Drink. I COuldnt Drink It My Fiance Tasted It And Said It Was Fine. But I Still Couldnt Drink It So I Poured It Out And Got A Whole New Cup. I Think Im Very Paranoid And Its Creepy. BTW It Was Water.

When I Was Younger I Always Thought There Were PEople Coming In My Room At Night So Know That I Have My Own Place The Door Has TO Be Locked Before Bed. Maybe Its A Prolonged Fear Of The Dark And What It Hides. I DOnt Know.

Well Thanx FOr The Comments And Help And I Understand Noones A Doctor I Just Would Like PEople To Give Advise On What To DO And Where TO GO From Here. Thank YOu Again.

<blockquote>
Hello again mpyzck,
thanks for responding to my questions. With your responses in mind I'll now try to recommend some resources that might be helpful to you.

mpyzck: I Was The One In The Military And That Could Have Been The Trama You Were Refering Too Cause It Was Extremly Hard For Me Emotionally And Physically. I Was In The Marines.

Here's one resource you could explore: Women's Trauma Recovery Program In addition, there is a forum here devoted to the subject of Combat Trauma. If you wish to explore or share traumatic aspects of your military duty, you could do so there. Numerous links that may be helpful can also be found in the "Resources" area of that topic.

Another discussion area that may be helpful to you at this time is this one: Relationships &amp; Communication. That might be a place where you could explore the issue of your jealousy and relationships with significant others. Bear in mind if you choose to do so that you will be sharing your experience with peers -- not doctors, nurses, psychiatrists or psychologists but rather, other people who have had experiences similar to your own.

In regard to working with a therapist, I suggest you seek out a skilled psychologist -- preferably someone who has a background in trauma. There are various resources you can utilize to find skilled professionals in your area. For example, simply entering "your location+psychologists" into a search engine would probably bring up some options in your area. Word of mouth, the yellow pages, and other psychologists are also good options for you. This article may also be of some assistance: How to Choose a Competant Counselor. If working with a professional is simply not an option for you there are still plenty of options you could explore in the self-help line.

On a final note, if for some reason, you feel you require emergency assistance... if you are concerned you may hurt yourself or another... I would encourage you to go to your local emergency room. Should hospitalization be presented as a necessity I also suggest you admit yourself on a voluntary basis. You'll retain far more freedom and ability to make your own decisions than if you were admitted as an involuntary patient.

I hope there's something here that has been helpful to you. If you would like more specific suggestions, ideas or resources, please let us know and we'll do our best to help you out.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.

Sounds like you're going a little crazy. The paranoia, the weird thoughts, and your writing style is kind of off, too.

I would suggest you take a little break and find something that makes you feel calm inside. Writing a letter, drawing, drinking tea by a fountain, whatever. If you feel thoughts of paranoia starting to engulf you, just remember that you're going through a tough time and your mind has gotten a little too eager in trying to protect you from things that aren't necessarily dangerous. Thank your thoughts, and let them go. Give it a break. It'll be there later if you want it, so don't worry about letting your guard down.

You might want to see a professional about the symptoms, but you definitely need to sort out some of the other ***** in your life. The traumas you've gone through (losing loved ones and being cheated on) should be addressed. You don't necessarily have any problems stemming from those events, but you could, and it doesn't hurt to take a look and see if you're still harboring some pain or guilt about what happened. If you do, you have to find a way to make peace with it and move on. It takes practice, but it's possible.

Thank You For Replying. I Really Appreciate All The Replys People Have Givin Me. Its Very Helpful. Thank You.

<blockquote>
mpyzck: I Really Appreciate All The Replys People Have Givin Me. Its Very Helpful. Thank You.

I've been in a similiar place where I thought others couldn't understand. I know better now.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

... in many cases my own experience is just that, that which could become so introverted, a downward spiral of depression and isolation -- just the thought that other people feel this opens it up. It's what Trungpa Rinpoche used to call, "Thinking Bigger".

And I think I've said this before, I'll say it again that, compassion or the sense of shared humanity, of our kinship with each other... this is what heals.

Source: Tönglen


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Anyway... it was helpful for me. You'll have to decide if it's also helpful for you.

Regards.

Hey mpyzck,

I read your post just now and I felt compelled to reply since there was a lot of stuff I could relate to. I haven't read all the replies so apologies if I'm saying the same stuff as others.

It's awesome that you've come here for support, acknowledging your problem. That is one step closer to getting the problems solved.

Someone might have suggested therapy - I don't know if you've used services like that before, but I swear, it's not just for loonies! I started therapy in 2006 because I was having a tough time at school (and moderate depression).

Instead of just helping the depression, we dealt with a lot of issues, like trust issues that you mention you are having. Mostly it's like talking about stuff that bothers you, then the therapist enlightens you about why you might be feeling that way, asking you questions and stuff.

Sure it takes a while to learn to trust the therapist and you have to go through your life from childhood to present, but the results are worth the wait.

That's therapy in a nutshell.. Of course it's up to you whether you want it, but if I was in a situation like that I would seek it. Trust issues are VERY difficult to handle on your own, and often we don't even know why we act that way (often they are linked to negative experiences in the past)..

Best of luck to you mpyzck! Keep us updated on how you're doing.

Katie

{edit: misspelled your username}

i would say getting help would be first step yes every1 goes through a change in life for better or worse ok i have some experience in things like this i dont think it is something to lose your mind over and fear is just anger on its way out doctors will tell you this and that sometimes they dont care cuz your just another paycheck to some of them or there are pill happy desk jockeys who prescribe you anything no matter wht i have no truely helpful advice for you i said all i could for now best of luck to you tc

well it sounds like the same thing i've been going through regarding my husbands family. But then again they really are like that. well used to be anyway. i told my husband i was afraid his brother would hurt me. and the nexy day he tried to hit me in the head with a hammer because my husband was gonna shoot his pitbull beause the dog had my jack russel by the throat and we could'nt get them apart.

I also have issues with paranoia and trying to work out what's real and what's not. Admitting to a problem is a big step on the road to recovery. You may find seeing a counsellor or psychologist helpful in dealing with your issues and they would be able to tell you if you need extra help. Good luck.
Rachel