Life is tough

I've lied to myself and I've lied to my family. Specifically my husband and my two children. It really hurts to type this information. We almost lost our home because of me.

I'm a middle aged female who has been on Prozac for years. I lost my job and never recovered. I'm not making the money I had; and thought I could get it back. It hasn't happened. I'm in so much credit card debt--it's incredible. For example, I owe $17,000 to one credit card company. They have placed two judgements against just me. Not my husband. I've lied to my husband and he doesn't know how severe it is. I think--would it better if I weren't around? My husband would be ok but I cannot do that to my two kids. The walls are closing in. We had a levy on our checking account and one judgement took all our money. We have checks bouncing left and right. I work full time and part time. I'd work two full time jobs if I could. And when I'm not working--I sleep--I take Tylenol PM during the day or another sleepaid at night. I'm so ashamed I can't tell anyone. And now the anxiety is setting in. I become short of breath, lose feeling in my legs and tingling in my hands. I get angry at the simpliest of things. Please don't tell me to talk to my husband--because I don't want to see his anger.

if you don't talk to you husband, what are you going to do? it's his home and his money and his children and life also? good luck, xoxoxo pat

downandout,

You need to talk to someone. Perhaps a debt counsellor. But i think in the end you will need to talk to your hubby. Sometimes we think things will be worse than they turn out to be. Perhaps he will be supportive. Im sure if you could tell him things would feel better for you. Its a lot of worry you are having to shopulder on your own and it seem like its too much to handle for one person

I agree with the coming clean with your husband and seeing a debt cousellor.

I know that bankrupcty law has changed since I discharged over $40,000 in credit card bills and $10,000 in medical bills. It is used as a last resort, but it is not the end of the world. That was 8 years ago...

I think I was a king of overspending.

You lost your good paying job and "thought you could get it back". I can't help but think how much this makes me think of gambling. Chasing one's losses. I am sorry for this disaster. Maybe you could go to a counselor and you could tell your husband with the counselor there. The counselor could be your support as well as your protector, in the sense that your husband is probably going to not react as strongly as he would if you were alone.

I would use caution when making any major announcement in counseling sessions.

Generally you want these to be relatively safe places. If he is blind sided in a session - the likelyhood of him wanting to go back I think will be gone.

Make an appointment for counseling - come clean before the appointment. Let your husband know that you know it is a problem and that you set up a counseling session for the two of you to discuss it with professional help.

If he is anyway abusive then please ignore this advice...

The counseling is not FOR the husband--it is for the wife. It is so that she CAN tell him about the problem in a SAFE environment and in a way that she feels SAFE enough to do it. It is not about the husband at this point.

I think it is about the marraige and each of you downandout

I stand by my caution. If there is no other way to face your husband - do what makes you feel safest.