[jacq10]

but its not. I was feeling better for a while ... I was actually nieve enough to think that i had "beat" this thing. How foolish am I?

Its not the environment that makes me feel this way. It can't be certain people because i haven't been around them in a long time. I'm away from my family .. thought that would be a good thing. Give me time to heal. Nope.

What is wrong with me? I dont want to go back to another T. I feel like an idiot in there and i'm not going to put myself through that again. Actually, skratch that. I feel like an idiot everywhere, in everything that i do. Please dont tell me that i am "smart"... i won't believe you.

What do i do? Where do i turn? Why does this hurt have to keep crawling back no matter where i go ..

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( jacq )))))))))))))))))

Wishing your turns to soon....

xo

[jacq10]

Thank you (((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))) ... I do too

[katheryn]

hope this day is over for you and tomorrow is a better day tomorrow sending you a rainbow to brighten your day((((((((((((jacq10)))))))))))))))

[jacq10]

Thank you (((((((((((((((((Katheryn))))))))))))))))
Much appreciated

[lenjan]

(((((((jacq))))) As I have recently been reminded, it goes away only temporarily. Sometimes "temporarily" is a few months, or a year or more if you're really lucky, but it *will* come back.

I'm just beginning to see the tiniest glimmer of light at the end of my deep, dark tunnel of these last months -- can I help you find some in yours?



Love, Candy

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((Candy))))))))))))
Glad to hear that you're seeing a bit of light ...

[Soidhonia]

((((((JACQ))))))))
I am sorry you are having a setback at this time. even the strongest of people have setbacks, Unfortunately if your disorder is a chemical imbalance then setbacks happen from time to time. Perhaps all you need is a med adjustment, I think we tend to think the worst when something happens, when in reality the adjustment is really minor if things are caught early enough, and the mental health team steps in early enough to stop a major setback. I hope you change your mind and talk to a therapist so you can feel better, and get your meds adjusted if needed so the setback will be just a minor incident, and you can move on with your life soon. I hope the best for you in the future. Take care of yourself JACQ> Soidhonia.

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Soidhonia said:
((((((JACQ))))))))
I am sorry you are having a setback at this time. even the strongest of people have setbacks, Unfortunately if your disorder is a chemical imbalance then setbacks happen from time to time. Perhaps all you need is a med adjustment, I think we tend to think the worst when something happens, when in reality the adjustment is really minor if things are caught early enough, and the mental health team steps in early enough to stop a major setback. I hope you change your mind and talk to a therapist so you can feel better, and get your meds adjusted if needed so the setback will be just a minor incident, and you can move on with your life soon. I hope the best for you in the future. Take care of yourself JACQ> Soidhonia.

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Are you feeling any better today?

[Leisel]

Hey, I just did the same thing, i moved away to school and thought that everything would heal it's self and that I could leave it all behind. I don't think you are stupid for wanting to believe in happiness, that would make me stupid too! Sometimes we have to sort everything out and we can't run away any more. At least that is what is true for me. PM me anytime I hope you feel better

[jacq10]

Thank you guys ((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))

I actually have been feeling a bit better than i was the other day ... unfortunately i'm not sure whether that can be attributed to being EXTREMELY busy (new job & moving into new house), but i guess it doesn't really matter either way. Hopefully once things slow down a bit i'll be able to actually sort out some of these thoughts.

Right now i'm not actually seeing my T anymore. The semester ended and she's gone for two months .... she left me with a reference to see someone else while she's gone, but i'm still not sure i want to take her up on that offer. And as for meds... well i stopped taking them in december. It felt like the right thing to do at the time ... and well maybe it was, but i guess i just wanted to see how I would do without taking them. Some days i feel great, and others not so much ... but i guess if it actually is an imbalance i should probably look into taking them again ...

Thanks once again for the support everyone, it really does mean a lot.

Jacq