Teeter?

Does anyone else find themselves bouncing from "everything is fine" to "I can not stand one more minute...."????

I am getting so sick of myself.

I can be fine. And then all I can think of are very graphic, *bad* things.

Does anyone else find themselves teetering back and forth like this? ANY suggestions?

Hi I don't matter I don't bounce back and forth like you do, but I know people who do and it is very hard for them indeed so I really feel for you. I do know what it is like to think graphic, bad or destructive thoughts and it is a really hard place to be.
All I can give is my what limited understanding I have and the strongest hope you can find the support you need to get through this. I believe that, as a human being you are worth as much as anyone else and deserve to have support.
(take your pick what you can accept of these,though I think you deserve them all)

Yes I do.

Hello,
My guess is that a lot of people here have felt like you describe. The intensity and frequency of those feelings may, however, vary a great deal. For any of us to give any suggestions at all we need much more information about you.

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I bounce back and forth but don't really have a solution. My mornings are better than my evenings so I try to get a good nights sleep so I can start the next morning as good as possible. But by afternoon I'm usually headed in a downward spiral.

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For me it´s the other way around, mornings are hell and I´m normally either totally numb or jumping from one emotional state to another like a yo-yo. By mid afternoon I´m usually calmer and right now it´s late at night and I feel better. Bizarre...

Hi IDM,

Yes, sometimes depression can come at you in waves or thoughts/feelings can change like a switch has been flicked. Sometimes fine IS fine, other times it can be more that you've had a distraction from..........or you've managed to convince yourself for that time, sometimes it's depression walking over "what could be".
But maybe if at the times of the thoughts/feelings........you could tell yourself that you are not going to trust your judgement right now, it is the depression "talking". You might not be able to see/think things another way in that moment, but you can try to refuse to trust what you're seeing/thinking and try to hang on in there till..........
Maybe you can try to recall, recall, recall, something/s that made things "fine" before that without doubting them.
Maybe you can focus on a time/thing that might make things "fine" again e.g. something that's going to happen...........
Maybe those are times you need to remind yourself to lean heavily on things that might help just a bit e.g. if you've got a list (however short!!)..........and that can include talking to us
I know that sort of stuff isn't always going to help.........but just some thoughts..........

And............"I am getting so sick of myself"...........please try to knock that feeling
Fine if at times you feel sick of the depression, but this is about the depression, it's not about you. And while you can be sick of the depression, remind yourself that you are trying to work through it, you have even had some breakthroughs, and it can pass.........you have reached/you can reach "fine"



Alison

Yes, I bounce around, too. Sometimes it helps me to do something different. If I'm reading and the bad thoughts come, I try getting up and maybe taking care of a chore or maybe go sit outside. Something different offers a new perspective. Change can be good.

Yes, it is quite possible to find myself good/bad with not much in between, and especially bad in the am.

there is however usually a reason, and when you think about it, the reason is often not sufficient to get up/down over. if you can get this far it may be possible to process the thoughts behind your feelings.

Yes, I do too. It's like my mind convinces myself everything is bad then everything is going to be okay. It's confusing and annoying.

Me, too, IDM. I just call this teetering, my mood swings. I hate the bottoming out. BUT, I know in 2-3 days, I will be feeling at least a little better.