[xavier.s]

<TW: ABUSE> Hi, I'm diagnosed with depression, I think my mental illness has affected how I interact with my family. I'm wondering If my relationships are "normal" or something I should work on.

Relationship with mother
-ha, we fight every living minute of the day, sometimes I'm afraid to say anything because I'm afraid she is going to yell at me and make me cry. (I always cry when we get in arguments)
-Sometimes we are nice to each other, but the only reason i think she is nice is because my older sister, her favorite, is around. I'm kind of a bit paranoid hahah.
-No connection with her, we never talk about anything personal. I never share details with her about my life, I never go to guidance at all.
-Most the time I blame my relationship with her on my self, like it's because the way I dress, I'm gay and dress/look masculine, or the way I act ect. that makes her hate me.

Relationship with father
-wow as if it could get worse
-he say's one word to me a day usually
-I never go to him for anything, it's sad but are relationship has never been close. He's kinda of like his father, very distant and not affectionate at all.
-I actually don't blame myself for our relationship, he choked me when I was six years old and I think thats why are relationship is kind of distant. This might sound incredibly stupid but is it like normal to have a parent do something like that. I mean when he choked me it wasn't because like some sort of punishment, like a spanking or something, it was out of pure rage and it scared the living **** out of me especially since we were on a sidewalk and there were cars, also I was six years old. When the incident happened, I blamed myself completely, and so did my family. They shamed me. They said you'll be lucky if no one in those cars knew your father or you'd be taken away. I still blame myself for what happened.:/ . I try so hard to normalize it, and hope it's normal that it happened. I mean I've never been in another family, how do I know whats normal. Is it normal for your dad to get drunk every night. For me, yea. Is it normal for your parents to never say they love you or show they love you, yea for me. I hate ranting about families considering I know people are in way worse positions, and also it sounds like I blame my family for my problems but in actuality I blame myself for the way we interact.

Welcome to Psych Central!

Good to see you here and I am sorry that you are having issues with your family. From what you have said, its seems like you had it pretty rough growing up.

We have many different forums here that can probably touch on anything you might want to know about, as well as many great moderators, community liaisons, and members that are willing to give their advice in hopes to help you!

We also have a great chatroom that you will be able to enter, once you have 5 approved posts. The chat community is really great and can help with on the spot advice when you need it.

I hope that you get as much out of this site as I have. It is truly a wonderful community!

[Fizzyo]

Hi and welcome to PC. It sounds like your family is a tough place to grow up. No it is NOT YOUR FAULT that your Dad choked you or that he gets drunk, he is an adult and is responsible for his behaviour. You will find other people who have lived through some of what you have and will understand and want to support you. Be persistent and post on relevant forums, if you don't get much response on one, try another, give the people who care a chance to find you. Also you will find you can offer support to other people and many of us find that this helps us too. I really truly hope you get as much benefit from this community as I have, they have helped me through some dark times.

[xavier.s]

Originally Posted by Fizzyo

Hi and welcome to PC. It sounds like your family is a tough place to grow up. No it is NOT YOUR FAULT that your Dad choked you or that he gets drunk, he is an adult and is responsible for his behaviour. You will find other people who have lived through some of what you have and will understand and want to support you. Be persistent and post on relevant forums, if you don't get much response on one, try another, give the people who care a chance to find you. Also you will find you can offer support to other people and many of us find that this helps us too. I really truly hope you get as much benefit from this community as I have, they have helped me through some dark times.

Thank you so much. This helped me a lot because I felt so utterly lost. I wish you the best

[Ruftin]

(((Xavier))) Choking is never OK!!!!! I don't care what you did or did not do, you were a child and your dad failed to protect you. From himself in this instance. I'm sorry your family is so dysfunctional. Many are and people live through it. I hope things get better for you. Please keep reaching out and know there are people here who truly care about you!!!

[Fizzyo]

Keep reaching out you are important here and we are listening. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

It all sounds quite distant and harsh to me. Your father sounds like the classic alcoholic who gets drunk every night and gets nasty and violent (e.g. choking you). He's probably distant because he has an escapist mentality with regards to his family and the real world in general. Getting drunk is a vice for him to escape from life and his problems. Your mother sounds like she is very abrasive and argumentative most of the time. To be honest, she is probably fed up with your Dad's drunken shenanigans and takes it out on you. She probably also has her own issues with you.