[poetryiam]

Today is not a good day. I've barely eaten and I skipped going to church. Didn't want anyone to ask me how I was...afraid I'd burst into tears. My husband went with the children. I've been trying to decide if it's time. If it's time i seek hospitalization help because I just feel emotionless/empty...barely functioning like I use too. My husband looks so sad because he's doing everything and trying. He just leaves me alone and that really gets to me even more. I feel super alone even though all of these precious little voices are running around the house. I just can't bring myself to come out of the room to attempt enjoying family time. The thought of going to work (the place that has triggered this deep depression) depresses me even more. I have nothing prepared for the work week (I'm a teacher) because the demands are beyond ridiculous and I just want to quit...like right now. My mind has been all over the place today. What do I do? Tears have been flooding today on top of no sleep.

Hi,

My wife is a teacher, too. She went through a long period of depression a few years ago, and had to take leave for a year so she could recover. She went back to work after that, with counselling support for another year, and medication up until this day.

During all that time I supported her in every way I could, and I still do so, up to this day. But I have to admit, it's taking its toll on me, 'cause I've got my own issues as well, issues that I had to put aside so I could try and help heal her.

Sometimes I dread doing the most simple things, even grocery shopping feels like such a drag sometimes, that I wish I'd never have to get out the house ever again.

But then I push myself out, and get things done. And when they're done, I feel a little better.

I can only imagine what you and your family are going through, and I really wish I could say those "magic wise words" that make all the pain go away.

Sadly, it's not that simple...

But all I can say is: things get tough, but they also do get better, eventually.

I'm still waiting for things to improve for us here, and sometimes, waiting is all we can do.

I hope things get better for you soon!

[Fizzyo]

❤️

Hi, I just saw this post. Thanks to FizzyO for bumping it.

How are you feeling? You sounded very depressed in what you wrote above, like it's time for meds adjustment, hospitalization or an intensive outpatient program. What does your doctor say?

oh my gosh, I really feel for you. I was hospitalized most of the summer. Had someone else not insisted, I never would have taken the step myself. I knew I was sick but it was only once I was in the hospital did I realise to the degree.

If you have no pysychiatrist or therapist to immediately access I recommend paying a visit to your family docotor.

Talk to your husband. Raise the issue of hospitalization with him.

You must have resources through your union to talk to. Again, if you can't immediately access them visit your family doctor. They can often get the ball rolling when it feels stalled.

This is the route I tooks on account my psychiatrist was away. He immediately recognized I was in trouble and made me a direct admission to the hospital.

I hope this is actually of some encouragement to you. I make these suggestions because of the importance you take that recognition of something wrong and turn it into action.

Remember, there is no reward for being the best mom and wife. You won't get a gold medal so don't put yourself down for feeling inadequate and needing to take a break.

Hang in there. The day will come that you feel better - it will - you just need to take care of yourself until then. Hugs.