how do I deal with this?

I doing much better from my previous post, but now I have a new problem and don't know how to deal with it. My mother is married to my dad (obviously) and she never or very rarely says I love you to him and she has never said it to me. But I heard her say it to a stranger that she talks with on the phone and he is from Jamaica. I have asked her who it is she talks with and she tells me it is a pen pal. She does not know I heard her say it to him. What really hurts is he is a stranger and I am her son and she will not say it to me. Can you imagine how it hurts, not be hugged or told that your own family does not even care about me? It is no wonder I keeping thinking about dying, it feels like I'm already dead.

(((((((asylum))))))))) sending you hugs

It sounds like you're going through a lot of stuff with your family. Have you tried initiating contact with your parents? Like saying you love them, or hugs? I know it's hard if you're not sure if it will be returned. And you're feeling, and that means you're not dead inside, ok? It's bad feelings, but I'm hoping along with you that they go away and get replaced by good real soon.

-Meander

I can relate...and understand your anger over this...

You indicated that "she has never said it to me"...is this really true or part of the venting?

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Direction said:
I can relate...and understand your anger over this...

You indicated that "she has never said it to me"...is this really true or part of the venting?

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I believe it to be true, I cannot remember anytime that she has said it to me.

I'm so sorry...

Is there anyway to have a sit down with her and discuss?

I doubt it. She is just not the person that would understand.

Your dad might - if he also rarely hears it...I think it is best to talk directly to the person you are having an issue with; however, based on your comment move on to the next closet person to the issue.

I did ask my dad about it before and he said it is just how she is and I need to deal with it. I guess I just have to accept that she will not say it to me, but the fact she said it to a stranger is what really bothers me.

I can really relate to how you feel about your mom. My biological father doesn't want to know me. When I was younger he sent me birthday cards but they stopped when I was 15. I called him once before I moved from Colorado to California (he lives in CA) thinking maybe he's want to hang out sometime, but he didn't. I haven't seen him in four years now. But you know what? I've learned that I don't need someone like that in my life. If he doesn't care, that's his loss. I have people that love me in my life, and I try to focus on that. It must have really hurt when your mom said "I love you" to a complete stranger. Maybe its easier for her to say to someone she hasn't seen or has less history with. Even if talking to her about won't change anything, I think you should tell her, just to get it off your chest you know? Then it might be easier to move on. I hope everything works out.

ariesmars - I would imagine that your dad's comments were not very helpful...do go to a T that you can discuss this situation...

It sounds from the comment your dad is making that there probably is something going on with your mom that may never really be known or solved...so work on you...