I don't even know what to title this.

Recently I've been in an up/down rollercoaster.
One day I will think that life is beautiful, everyone is wonderful and my life is perfect (example; yesterday).
Then, I will get hit with sadness, not wanting to do anything and being to sensitive where I always want to cry.
I don't know whats wrong with me. I am in therapy and I am on medication.
I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety when I was 6 years old.
Currently, I am in college right now. I am scared to tell my boyfriend this stuff because we had a talk a few days ago about how he doesn't really understand my anxiety. I don't want to push him away. I've had experiences where I did push people away because of things I couldn't control or didn't seem to realize.
I really just feel overwhelmed.
Even during therapy on Wednesday I was so overhwlemed afterwards I just started sobbing. Left for two hours, cried outside and went back to my therapist who let me sit in the waiting room until I coped.
I have a friend I can talk to and hes chill about everything and is going through the same problem.
I don't even want to go home anymore (I am dorming in college) because my parents give me anxiety too and i'm scared that I am not good enough for them. So, I haven't been home in almost 2 weeks. I always feel like I am doing something wrong.
It's also effecting my attendance in classes. I don't know.

To get my mind off of this I go to coffee shops, exercise, go to the park, and things like that. But, I am always by myself. My boyfriend does take me out and everything but I am talking about in general because he works full time.

Sorry for ranting, I just wanted to let this out.

Hello psychmajor18: I'm sorry you are having such difficulty. I would just like to send some warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find that center of deep peace that exists within each of us...

I can definitely empathize with you, psychmajor. I'm currently dealing with my depression and anxiety affecting my ability to go to class as well. Thankfully, i was able to get accommodations when I transferred last year. I have a meeting with my accommodations case worker on Friday to help me talk to my professors. Have you been able to talk to your professors or investigate accommodations? I get leniency on attendance and due dates, and it's been really helpful.

I hope you feel better soon.

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear this.

I knew at 5 or 6 something was wrong with me and lived my live with depression and anxiety unmanaged.

I am so happy to hear though that you have some mental health supports in place (how understanding of your therapist to allow you to sit in her office).

Have you considered that your boyfriend might actually welcome hearing about your anxiety and issues? Have you discussed with him what you would like support to 'look like'. Is he able to recognise when you are in a moment of crisis? (I actually had a code word I gave to my boyfriend for if we were in public and I was having sudden anxiety).

I would continue with using your coping mechanisms of getting yourself out and about. Whatever you do don't get into the habit of isolating yourself.

Okay, about your relationship. Can I ask if the relationship is equal. Even who makes most of the plans to do things, who does most of the talking, etc. Is it equal or is it primarily one person initiating everything. I just wonder if this might be a reason you are adverse to talking about this more with him.

Your symptoms sound like they could possibly be Bipolar. Do you ever get manic episodes from antidepressants?

I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. I also feel pretty alone lately because my boyfriend doesn't understand my mental problems and I don't really talk to anyone else besides him these days. These forums seem to be helping though. Talking to others who know what you're going through can make you feel not so alone.