Ugh!! Sometimes I feel like a recluse & I hate it!

As of late, my depression has been pretty manageable, but I started a new job 3 months ago & I've had trouble adjusting as far as being around new people.
Yesterday, there was a company party & I didn't go. I just didn't feel like going, mainly because I don't really talk to anyone at my job regularly outside of work & I stay to myself for the most part & just do my work. I have family and friends/associates that I talk to everyday but I just feel so awkward at work, especially after yesterday. Idk, maybe I'm being super hard on myself for no rational reason but I just didn't feel like going and I felt really awkward and weird for having made that decision.
Anyways, thanks for reading.

Thanks for posting. I guess you're right, you are being hard on yourself. It's reasonable not to want to go when you're so new.

I hope you can find the confidence to feel more comfortable soon.

I often feel the same way. Sometimes, I have very little difficulty being around other people. Other times, I can barely go to the grocery store. I have this fear that everyone can see what I'm going through written all over my face. Do you ever feel that way?

Try to remind yourself that depression has its ups and downs by nature. Sometimes, forcing yourself to go out when you're just not up to it can do more harm than good. Your feelings of anxiety are your body telling you to slow down and take a minute. There's nothing wrong with that.

Omg mle115, that's exactly how I feel at times! There's been times where I felt extremely anxious about going outside. As far as this situation, I just felt really weird because the whole office was going. Then, folks were asking me why I wasn't going & urging me to go & it was like "if I wanted to go, I'd go". Of course, that's not what I said but that's how I felt.

Thanks for your responses guys!