[dexter]

First attempt... Worked up the energy and hope to find a doctor from my insurance coverage list. Looking for a male on the list. Found one, called, left a message, called again left a second message, never received a call back.

Lost my enthusiasm to try again.

Decided to try again... Found another male on the list in an office close by, called. The male isn't in the office close to me, a woman is. Decided I'm doing pretty poorly, I shouldn't turn it down.

Called the woman, left a message, didn't receive a call back on Friday.

Over the weekend decided to try again for a male. The provider finder tool on the insurance website stopped working.

Left a scathing message to the insurance company about keeping their website working. Feedback section of the website isn't working either.

Monday morning - website still not working.

Losing hope, when... Monday afternoon, I receive a call back from the woman! I reluctant but desparate. Trying to confirm she takes my insurance, she's never heard of my policy network and doesn't know what I'm talking about. Don't get much further because the woman is having a coughing fit. Worse and worse, until I ask if she wants to call me back. She agrees and we hang up with her still coughing.

Received my call back? Nope.

Hitting roadblocks and I don't even want to drive down the road. Want to sit on the side of the road and cry. Convinced I'd be better off travelling, immediately hit a pothole.

Life can be SO like that!! So sorry, Dexter. Dig deeper for that resolve and keep calling.

Go ahead and have a cry. Or two. Then hit YouTube and watch some funny animal videos (sounds silly, but I can't tell you how many times it has helped me to LOL!)

It's flu-time Dexter. Sorry to hear about your troubles, but please try to live with the situation until it is possible to get the help you need and deserve!

[dexter]

Got the punchline today. The coughing woman who didn't call me back on Friday called me back this morning. To apologize for the coughing fit, and to tell me she looked into whether or not she is in network on my insurance.

Couldn't answer that because the insurance company told her I am no longer covered.

WHAT?

Called the insurance company... Yep, policy cancelled by the member (me).

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Turns out to be a snafu on the renewal... Even though I paid my (raised) premium for January. They confirmed they received my payment, and it is credited against an inactive policy.

So they think I cancelled my policy mid December then paid for January coverage at the end of December.

Their working it out but after being on the phone for two and a half hours during work I have to call back tomorrow and it may not be worked out for 3 to 5 days.

The blood work and x-rays I had last week will be covered once the policy is reinstated but I can't even look for a doctor until they straighten this out.

I do not want to "hang in there" I am in so much pain, the pain is driving me to seek help but I am in too much pain to wait much longer.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Dexter you are better than me. I would have given up along time ago. I hope you can get the help you need.

[shezbut]

You are doing a terrific job at reaching out for help, dexter. That's awesome! I know that you seem to be up a bunch of brick walls here, but keep your tenacity, things will get better soon. Gentle hugs to you.

Take care and remember to stay in this moment.

[connect.the.stars]

I'm so sorry I hate phone tag and especially when it's already hard enough to seek help... I really hope you can find someone good when your insurance company figures its ***** out. *hugs*

Dexter -
Have you tried SAM-e (S-adenosylmethionine) or 5-HTP? They are OTC supplements that a lot of people use in lieu of prescription antidepressants.

I used SAMe many, many years ago and it did provide relief. Available at major drug store chains, etc. Suggest checking WebMD's drug database to read user reviews. WebMD Drugs & Medications - Medical information on prescription drugs, vitamins and over-the-counter medicines Can be costly for a therapeutic dosage for depression (in comparison to insurance co-pay), but it's readily available and could serve as a stop-gap measure until you can get an appointment with a doctor.

I don't have personal experience with 5-HTP, but I just know of it. I don't think it's as widely available (common) as SAM-e, but the GNCs of the world would have it.

[dexter]

Thank you Onward I will look into these.

Hope you get this sorted out soon, Dexter! It is not good to be you before all this is settled.

[dexter]

Good news one day later they worked out the error and my health insurance is reinstated and I'm covered back to Jan 1st.

Now I have to start all over looking for a T when I have the time and energy.

Our company holiday party was tonight. I RSVP's in the negative a few weeks ago, not a problem, until today a few people started urging me to go. I tried to make them understand that I am in pain and if I can manage to smile and get through the day that does NOT mean I am OK and spending several more hours smiling for other people would NOT be good for me. I unfortunately made an offhand comment to my manager about no one missing me there and I think he told everyone else to ask me to come because an hour after I said that everyone at work started to ask me to go which just made me feel horrible.

So I ended up having another meltdown at work. I can't believe I am still going in every day. I majorly screwed up a job today and tonight realized I made a grievous error on a job I completed earlier this week. I can't sleep and I can't focus and I can't do my job accurately so why am I bothering to go in every day?

Tomorrow I have meetings with two customers and I'm still awake don't know how I'm going to deal with that tomorrow.

Good news though is since I told them I wasn't going to the holiday party I made plans yesterday to go into manhattan and meet with some friends who know I'm suffering and to to see Star Wars again. Had dinner with them beforehand and actually ATE something, so yea I felt better and got my appetite back for a little while. And saw Star Wars again. But coming home all of the pain came back and now I can't sleep again.

[dexter]

And Humpty I am NOT better than you. I'm just early in this relapse cycle. I hope we both find a better solution that gives us some ability to enjoy life but right now I feel like I in illusioned by thinking I am in shallow water when in reality it is just that I'm at the bottom of the pool circiling the drain.

Originally Posted by dexter

Good news one day later they worked out the error and my health insurance is reinstated and I'm covered back to Jan 1st.

Good to hear!

[dexter]

I asked them if the problem with the website was related to my policy being cancelled, they said no and said I should try deleting my cookies. I had already done that and also tried it on another computer I had never logged in from. I didn't want to pursue troubleshooting I wanted to straighten out the policy.

The good news is the policy is reinstated and I have coverage going back to Jan 1st... So the lab tests I had last week will be covered.

I decided to try the website again and sure enough now it works. Idiots.

I have some new names to try to call when I have the time and energy.

Originally Posted by dexter

The good news is the policy is reinstated and I have coverage going back to Jan 1st... So the lab tests I had last week will be covered.

:-) :-)