[itsonlygettingworse]

I'm new here. My first post. I have lived with depression for as long as I can remember. First started meds around 37, I'm now 55. I also have ADD, which was only diagnosed about 8 months ago but explains a lot about my childhood and I have PTSD. I currently go to therapy every other week. Can't afford any more and she only charges me half my copay. I always get depressed around the holidays and this year was worse. Started to come out of it and since New Years I've had 2 friends pass away and my house was broken into and robbed last week. They took all my jewelry and the jewelry my mom left me when she passed away. I am feeling so overwhelmed right now. I'm hoping to be able to post on a regular basis but sometimes I just feel as though I bring everyone down with my sad sob stories (and they are sad).

[Septembersrain]

I hear you. I feel like I'm a real drag to be around because I'm down in the dumps.

I don't see a therapist but I probably should. I just don't know where to start and I'm scared to unlock that door.

Holidays always get me down too. Since I don't really have any close family, I find the holidays to be the biggest reminder of this fact. It's like a slap in the face with depression.

I had one heck of a childhood too, I'm not even opening that can of worms. However with PTSD, it kind of opens itself at the most inopportune times right?

Don't know much about ADD. Unfortunately I think mine is the opposite. I pay too much darn attention. To every little ugly detail...

That's probably why I hate my job so much. The details of this company are mired in lies, facades, and terrible policies. Call center insurance jobs, never ever get one. Seriously.

And I lost all my family heirlooms and my own jewelry when my ex sold all my stuff after I came back to Texas to visit my grandma. Yeah, he sold all my stuff and told me if I tried to move back there, he'd shut the door in my face. Fun times.

However, we're both still alive. Holidays are, for the most part, over. Those people we lost, they'd want better for us right? So I'm gonna give you a huge virtual hug and tell you welcome. Please post again sometime! =D

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[mmbalena]

I'm sending love.

You will be okay, in the future.

You are kind and smart and important.

[itsonlygettingworse]

Thanks so much for your response. It's a shame that anyone has to be here but good that we can be here for each other. Does that make sense?

[dexter]

Hello GettingWorse. I hope you will post more. This is the place to post alll of your stories whether they be happy or sad. This is the place where people understand and will listen.

[Lyndie]

Depression sucks and being overwhelmed is probably one of the things I've struggled with the most. Therapy really helped me - coping skills- that's what I got out of it.

I'm new here too, but I'm starting to post more now. I think it really can be helpful. I pride myself in being pretty functional despite depressive disorder, anxiety as well as multiple family members with diagnoses ranging from bipolar to borderline personality disorder. But being so functional is exhausting. It's good to have a place to talk.

Keep up with your therapy and keep talking too!

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