[AbladeintheMeadow]

Left to my own devices I would have just stayed in bed today. But I didn't I had things that needed to be done for my family so I have just got on and done them. But today I feel empty. Today I just want to curl up and cry. I just want bedtime to come and for today to be over, maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe tomorrow I'll know what I want out of life. Right now I don't even feel I know who I am anymore.

[Fizzyo]

Hi AbladeInTheMeadow,

Sorry you feel so low,low,low.

Well Done! You got up when it was the last thing you wanted to do and did something constructive! Kudos to you!!!!!!!

[festidump]

Ok, so your family need you but you also need some "me" time. Take a breath, take a breather, take yourself off to bed with a good book / funny film / whatever works for you but don´t worry about tomorrow, it´ll come around anyway whether your worry or not. I´m sorry you´re feeling so low, try not to put too much pressure on yourself right now to plan the future and just relax a while.

Don´t know if that helps but it´s what I try and tell myself when I feel that way. Sometimes I give into the tears and it purges me a little, other times I have to just get away from it all and drive to a car park and just "be" for a while. It helps me so wanted to share. Each of us are unique with what helps but that feeling of just wanting to curl up and cry and wishing the day is over isn´t unique. You aren´t alone and I hope things work out for the best for you. Sending you positive vibes xxx

[lavendersage]

Rather than thinking what you "want out of life" (i.e. global thinking), try sticking to local thinking: what do you want out of the next hour? A nap? A load of laundry in the washer? A sandwich? A hug? To vacuum the living room?

Depression distorts everything so that your every move, your entire life becomes overwhelming. It's part of depression's mechanism of action to keep you low, paralyzed.

Just bite off small chunks. Really small chunks. I've been where it's 15 minutes at a time. I hope that helps.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Thank you all so much. I do need a hug, so desperately want to feel loved, but for some reason even when I do hug my kids I'm ashamed to say I don't feel anything. I want to, but there's nothing there. Its like that part of me is dead. I know I love them & would lay down my life for them but I seem to have lost the ability to actually feel it. My other half doesn't do hugs I have to ask & it all just feels really awkward & pointless so I just don't ask. I'm typing this wondering if it even makes sense and quite possibly it's a topic for another forum.

I make life harder for myself I think because I find it impossible to tell my family I'm having a rough day & I just carry on & on until a day they all go out & only then do I let it out, tho' I have got better at putting my earphones in and listening to some music I find that helps.

But thank you, just being able to admit how I feel and to receive messages that let me know I'm not alone helps. Helps a lot.

[Fizzyo]

(I hope some of these suit you ❤️)