Struggling to find meaning in my life

I am a 29 year old man with no friends nor any connection to the outside world to speak of aside from his job. I have dealt with constant rejection from women all my life; I have lost some good female friends over the years because I had developed feelings for them to which they wanted no part of. On the flip side, women have never warmed up to me until getting to know me, so expressing interest early has also led me down the rejection path. The absence of a social life and lack of experience has made it almost impossible for me to connect with anyone; I see others in my age gap raising families of their own and enjoying interesting vacations, basically doing and discussing things that I cannot relate to, so therefore I have nothing to contribute to these discussions aside from a pointless quip or mundane question that takes the conversation nowhere. I have become a boring person, and cannot even recall what it feels like to have a friend, let alone a partner.

Men are interested only in spending time with other couples or with friends they already had, and the fact that I have no friends will scare women off as they will hold no faith that a lasting relationship will work if I can't even manage to hold one honest to goodness friendship. I have nothing to offer any woman and this fact makes me despise myself. Besides, I have no idea where any of the single women are in this town. The most popular method of meeting someone seems to be through friends, though seeing as I have none, this is not an option for me. It seems everyone is content in their lives while I am required to start from scratch at this late stage. It all makes me feel like a failure, and as if I'm a child.

Lastly, I have recently begun therapy for my depression, and upon hearing my issues, my therapist feels the need to lecture me on the basics of communication, speaking to me in a patronizing tone as if I am a complete idiot; not to mention that I am a human services graduate myself and can practically come home and read her entirely dialogue in point form from my textbook. This whole experience has been a waste of time; if I didn't see a human being sitting in front of me during the sessions, then I wouldn't believe I have been speaking to one.

I am at a complete loss in my life, and airing this out on a forum like this seems to be the last thing I can think to do right now.

Hello Spirtium!

I understand how you feel about not having a special woman in your life

It happens that someone comes across the wrong therapist It's very important not to stop there, because not everything is tainted, there must be something somewhere around the corner that can keep you alive
Socializing is all about trial and error since it's a skill that you gain and grow each time you practice it. And of course, doing it while depressed or with low self-esteem will make the error part of trial and error be the end-point, the thing that will be taken as an evidence to absolute failure, but once we understand that this is a trial and error thing, like with any other skill, we can forgive ourselves for failing And yes, some people seem to get it faster, but getting it slowly is actually a good thing, because you'll be more open to learn more things than those who think that they've "got it"

I recommend a self-teaching course you set for yourself, reading books on relationships and how to attract women, and I don't mean attracting women mainly with looks. Reading about the difference between men and women is something that will massively help, because you'll understand how you think and how a woman thinks, and also find ways how to communicate with women in a way that suits both you and her. There are a number of books that can teach you that, some of them are really wonderfully written like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. I suggest starting with this author who has a series of books inspired by the same title. I read a few of them, and they helped me tremendously.

Ensuring your well-being is pivotal too! Balancing the hormones and all the necessary brain chemicals naturally is the best way to go about it, and focus on it being natural. Underline that word with as many lines as you can!

Hope this helps!

Congratulations on your first post! We're happy to have you here with us!

I would try observing how others communicate. Watch especially for nuances in their communication like tone and body language

I regret that you crossed paths with an *** hole of a therapist. It's very depressing (understatement) I've been there too
There are some therapists who are humane....

Welcome to PC

First of all, thank you all for replying, though the issue isn't with not knowing how to communicate or how to read basic body language; the issue is with not having anything to say or contribute due to lack of a social life or life experiences. I have been asked by others as to my relationship status, and upon hearing that I am single, they will respond with something like "oh, well, you still have time." Hearing this from married individuals 5 years younger than I am, kind of chips away at my self esteem.

In a time where people can barely go five minutes without being bombarded with texts, a man without even one friend is the furthest thing from attractive; people will figure that there is obviously something seriously wrong with this guy and that it is probably best to avoid. I speak to others often, though casual conversation is not what I am after; I need connections in my life. Others around my age are busy raising families and are only open to spending time with other couples; people at this point in their lives are pickier in choosing their friends and I have nothing of any value to add to their lives.

I live in a small town, have no circle of friends to meet others through, and have no idea where to even begin anymore. Going from casual conversation to friendship seems impossible at this point, but I am going to go insane if I have to keep living like this.

Spirit... many times i gave up then something kept pushing me to keep going. And then i found what i was looking for... and i think that applies to you as well... keep at it and don't give up.... blessings and tc (((hugs)))

its hard for me to have friends...
i dont have any friends either

im not good with that kind of stuff... i mean i guess the avoidance comes out when people wanna get closer to me

i do mirroring though.. helps most of the time... there are just some people i dont like to be around though...
but im the kind of person that really doesnt want to hang out with a bunch of friends, i would be perfectly content with just 2-4 true friends, but i would rather be reading or doing something more chill than going out to clubs or sky diving

i guess the best thing to do is just do the things you like and maybe you will make friends when out doing that thing... thats what my old case manager used to tell me all the time... go to an arcade or something! and i was like whaa

Most people on here don't have friends,it's a common epidemic in the west that everyone is isolated and depressed.
Truly I don't know why you think it's unsusual.
I wouldn't care in the least if the guy I was dating had no friends.

I understand that I'm not the only one, but I have come across no others in my life who were in the same boat. It's good that you don't care about that kind of thing, but most others do, as it allows for a stigma to be attached to that person; many can't comprehend how someone could possibly fail to form a connection with even one person unless there was something seriously with that individual. My younger brother is getting married in a few months and he was tasked with assembling 5 groomsmen to match her 5 bridesmaids, and all I could think to myself was who in the hell I would even ask if I were in my brother's position; I apologize if I sound sexist but I know for a fact that there are women who think about things like this. Thank you for responding.