confessions of little turtle

dear fuzzy....I like kindness...
I have a problem with the doctor-patient relationship..in psychiatry
that one has power over the other....that one is responsible for the others life
I don't like the doctors power of prescribing meds...
I think the meds should be there for everyone to use if they desire..
a persons life should be in their own hands...for the most part
I like being equal partners with my doctor...not one down...
but I am a very sensitive shy emotional person who should never have gone into psychiatry...it was a snake pit for me....I suffered like hell...
there is something wrong with me and there is something wrong with psychiatry...

the most important thing I could ever say-------------I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS

NOW----I AM SO ANGRY AT MY FAMILY TODAY...I have fire coming out of my you know where...they think they can just be critical and judgmental of me and get away with it..
well I am not going to tolerate this looking down on me any longer...I will be speaking up..i will not hit or strike anyone...nor will I attack anyones personality...but I will not tolerate them saying something that IS NOT TRUE OF ME...the psychiatrist in me just went out the door...mr nice guy is not going to be nice if someone is hurting me...I have a feeling that this is bringing me freedom and further away from suicide...I do not want to shut up...thank you fuzzy...

I think the antidepressants that I took made it difficult to have sex and to cry..
I really do not like that part of taking meds...psych meds are a real problem for me..

I need your help....my anger is getting out of control...I am not physically hurting anyone..i am not breaking things...but I am getting very angry at my family ...
I have gotten more angry since reducing my celexa from 10 to 5 mg...I only take celexa 5mg daily now...I am not suicidal...I am not homicidal...but I am over-reacting and not being effective in dealing with family.....please help me...any suggestions...I need some support...I feel all alone..

Anger, in myself or others, tends to frighten me. I fear it gaining control over me.
In general, my antianxiety prescription diffuses any anger I might feel.
??? - Slow walking, slow reading, slow activities???

thanks rohag....anger scares me also...last night my anger scared me...

I am really wanting to bring out the valium...
I am torn...I just don't know what is going to work for me..
I used valium mostly while I was practicing psychiatry...to handle my emotions..
I am terrified about a return of panic attacks and depression...

hey this anger thing is a big problem for me...I tend to hold it in most of the time....I think my antidepressants and valium kept my anger down...it sure cut down crying and sex...
I was told by my teachers the I had a serotonin problem... for my whole life...and I was too resistant to getting cognitive behavioral therapy which may have really helped..
but I was into taking and prescribing psych meds...

I feel so dumb....I just was able to make it thru...that awful practice of psychiatry..
I am glad that I didn't get into all the business of psychiatry..
there is so much to do about power and money...$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I hope in the future that we can reverse things and get on to real mental health...
FOR YOU AND ME..

I hate anger also and very rarely get it. When I do I take a xanax and it calms me down.

"I was too resistant to getting cognitive behavioral therapy which may have really helped.."
Why were you resistant to cognitive behavioral therapy?

good question....I really don't know...I was quite afraid...I thought meds would take care of the problem...

I only use my xanax for emergencies (took a 1/2 pill the night before yesterday--it had been at least 2 weeks since using).

I feel like they work best for short term use only because when used daily I feel like I build up tolerance, dependence.......

You are not to old to go to cognitive behavioral therapy. We are never to old to make improvements. I know that traditional medicare covers a few therapy sessions a year so it should be quite affordable (the copay used to be 35%, now it is only 20% and medicare limits how much a therapist can charge). You should talk about your anger to a therapist. I know it is scary but the things that scare us are so worth it....

thank you very much.....my family scares me..

I think people we love the most also hurt us the most sigh~

wow....yes james..
can you say more about this...
I have the most stress from certain family members...
I am so sensitive...I cant believe how sensitive I am...
i want to be loved...instead I get criticism....

Anger is necessary emotion. It gives us very important information. It empowers us.
Learning new ways to respond to anger?

yes sugar....I have a lot of anger...
I cant believe how much anger I have against the drug companies..
and yet I am thinking a lot about taking a 5mg valium this morning

I am so unhappy hearing about the dangers of taking valium...I really liked that drug..
it really worked well for me over the years...I did not take more than prescribed...
I took 5mg twice a day...I now only take it every so often...

but now I am hearing that instead of valium we should take abilify....
I don't like that idea...that abilify is an anti-psychotic drug...it is new..it is expensive

but all these drugs are not natural to the body...I took these drugs because I was
really really scared...I was down and out..i was in a hell hole and couldn't get out...

I hate the DSM...it doesn't help me..
I want to throw it in the trash can..
every single person is different...
I do not like being a number...

we now need to fight for what is right..
we need to muster our courage...
we need to start dreaming the impossible dream...
of making things better for all of us with a mental illness...
we can do it together....together...we no longer will tolerate being abused..
the psychiatry business$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ has to go ....
we want an equal footing...
I am close to death now but I see that we must work together to right the wrongs..

Sorry Turle, I thought you wanted change but you were only venting which is fine. I'm not trying to change anyone. If Valium works for you- good. I don't know much about it, can't speak about that choice to control anger. I imagine it would help you sleep- that's all I know. I've mostly seen it used in movies.

Benzos are the only meds I'm not allergic to

Seroquel is another drug I was prescribed, allergic to it..

I would much prefer to take no meds if that was an option

I don't "like" the DSM either.......

(Not exactly helpful, especially when misdiagnosed )

(((((((( little turtle ))))))))))