Wanting to live

sinking · Apr 21, 2016, 08:23 AM

I cant stop thinking i want to die...

How do you make yourself wanting to live?

IrisBloom · Apr 21, 2016, 11:30 AM

You are still here and thinking. That's a sign that you want to live. Now find a purpose. Get into volunteering to help people or animals. They need you.

Skeezyks · Apr 21, 2016, 01:23 PM

Hello sinking: Gee... I wish I knew the answer to this question... Most of the time, I don't want to continue living either. But I know I have to. In my case, I'm married & my wife needs me. So I keep pressing forward even though I seldom feel like doing so. As IrisBloom wrote, volunteering is certainly a proven way for a person to feel better about themselves. If you can do it, that is certainly a great idea! But, if you can't, then I believe you have to find some thing or someone you care enough about to keep you going. Otherwise, from my perspective, there really is just nothing, unless you can find a way to come to the belief that you have intrinsic value in-&-of yourself that needs no justification for its continued existence. This is true, of course! However, I know from personal experience that when one is in the throes of depression, being able to accept one's own intrinsic value & being able to carry on for that reason alone can be pretty-much impossible.

basicgoodness · Apr 21, 2016, 02:07 PM

I've been thinking the same thing. A large part of me wants to give up, throw in the towel. I can't because I have two children who depend on me. Plus I may figure out a way to improve my life. Who knows? I am hoping to volunteer after I retire, which hopefully will be in the not too distant future. Until then, I am just hanging on day by day. I hope you can, too.

Fuzzybear · Apr 21, 2016, 05:08 PM

elevatedsoul · Apr 22, 2016, 01:25 AM

i spend a great deal of time contemplating if i am infact dead...

Apr 22, 2016, 04:08 AM

sinking · May 05, 2016, 10:19 AM

i still havent found an answer..

DayAtATime1 · May 05, 2016, 10:32 AM

Sinking-wish I could say something that could cheer you up! Just know that you are not alone in this madness. Hang in there!

sinking · May 06, 2016, 08:04 AM

I'll ask my T's helping me with this one...

ExhaustedMom · May 06, 2016, 09:01 AM

My heart goes out to you. I've been there as well. My kids are the reason I'm still here today. I kept telling myself they need their mother.

Besides getting support here, are you getting support from a psychologist or a doctor as well? If not, please do so. You're worth it!

There's also some Crisis Lines where you can talk to some people on the phone.

I like to think about things I'm grateful for. Anything from my kids to a beautiful day.

When I don't feel like going out and doing things, I force myself to do it. It's extremely hard because all I want to do is stay in bed and not talk to people but talking about what I'm feeling is what I need to do.

Don't give up.

May 06, 2016, 05:24 PM

I feel the need to stay alive because I want to; though there are times when I don't know why. I guess as they say, "no one really want to kill themselves; they just want the pain(s) to go away". I would agree with that. I wouldn't have the nerve to try to end my life.

Life is fine for me but there are some "thorns" in me that I would want to see (or feel) go away. There are times when I feel like I would want to quit in life while I'm ahead. Some people have said that they would never want to trade places with me. They wouldn't want to live my life. But I don't think it's that bad. There are people I know of from the distance that have it really bad. I wonder if I could have a desire to live if I were in their shoes?

There are some people that would feel bad if I did myself in. I find that hard to believe because there are lots of times when I feel like no one cares. There are some here who have expressed that they have children and that's why they can't end it all. I don't have any children and a mate. Just one good friend and some acquaintances - and that's basically it.

sinking · May 12, 2016, 11:35 AM

i REALLY want to end my life
BUT i dont want to hurt people who love me
but STILL it isnt enough for me to want to live
so im TRAPPED IN A LIFE I NEVER WANTED
and i dont know if i'll eveR find an answer to this question:
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TO LIVE.

i know im the only one who can answer to this questions but some suggestions please?

DayAtATime1 · May 12, 2016, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinking

and i dont know if i'll eveR find an answer to this question:
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TO LIVE.

i know im the only one who can answer to this questions but some suggestions please?

I struggle with this question everyday too. I wonder how I motivated myself when I wasn't in the midst of depression? That was more than 3 yrs ago, though it seems like an eternity.

adashofhope · May 12, 2016, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrisBloom

You are still here and thinking. That's a sign that you want to live. Now find a purpose. Get into volunteering to help people or animals. They need you.

I have been searching for my purpose for years and I still don't know what it is. I have never felt that I have anything valuable to contribute and everything I have done, I have failed at it somehow because of my own deficiencies (lack of abilities), personality issues, etc. I used to be able to get motivated and feel inspired to do things and then I would try things and it would not go well which made me become even more reclusive. I don't know how to get involved in something when it seems that I don't really have anything to contribute. I realize how self-involved and self-centered I sound (and I am), but at the same time I legitimately think and feel that it would be better if I didn't do anything because I think I tend to make things worse for others and that others don't want me around.

adashofhope · May 12, 2016, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinking

i REALLY want to end my life
BUT i dont want to hurt people who love me
but STILL it isnt enough for me to want to live
so im TRAPPED IN A LIFE I NEVER WANTED
and i dont know if i'll eveR find an answer to this question:
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TO LIVE.

i know im the only one who can answer to this questions but some suggestions please?

I feel like I'm in the same boat as you are. I feel like it would be better if I wasn't here. Either way if I live or die, I think I am going to hurt people and I feel like if I wasn't here, at least I wouldn't be a burden to anyone here anymore. I know this isn't helpful though. I'm sorry.

Are you a spiritual person at all? Do you pray meditate? Sometimes it helps me to read uplifting books or watch uplifting videos and movies. I've been recently watching youtube videos with Dr. Raymond Moody and Dr. Eben Alexander who both talk about near death experiences which I find interesting and comforting. I am not religious at all, but I do believe that there is something beyond this physical life we are all experiencing and I think exploring that could possibly be helpful.

sinking · May 13, 2016, 08:13 AM

i have theroretically found my purpose in life even though i dont feel able to achieve them, but the real problem here for me is my mere existence and WHY should i WANT to live?

WHY SHOULD I WANT TO LIVE?

IrisBloom · May 13, 2016, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adashofhope

I have been searching for my purpose for years and I still don't know what it is. I have never felt that I have anything valuable to contribute and everything I have done, I have failed at it somehow because of my own deficiencies (lack of abilities), personality issues, etc. I used to be able to get motivated and feel inspired to do things and then I would try things and it would not go well which made me become even more reclusive. I don't know how to get involved in something when it seems that I don't really have anything to contribute. I realize how self-involved and self-centered I sound (and I am), but at the same time I legitimately think and feel that it would be better if I didn't do anything because I think I tend to make things worse for others and that others don't want me around.

I know I feel purposeless sometimes. Especially since I'm getting old and my kids don't need me and I can't work. So I come on here and try to help people and make them laugh as much as I can. I do the same IRL when I can. You are as important as any other human. Do what you have to do to bring some joy into your life.

IrisBloom · May 13, 2016, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinking

i have theroretically found my purpose in life even though i dont feel able to achieve them, but the real problem here for me is my mere existence and WHY should i WANT to live?

WHY SHOULD I WANT TO LIVE?

As long as you are alive anything can change for the better. If you sui, how would that make anything better?

Maybe if you stop dwelling on the idea, new ideas might come to you. Like how to make life better instead of just giving up.

Try to think positive

sinking · May 13, 2016, 01:40 PM

Thank you

DayAtATime1 · May 13, 2016, 05:33 PM

Sinking - do you have any mental health support groups in your area? I do find it comforting that others experience similar problems. Much like this forum, but even better in the presence of others.

mizora · May 14, 2016, 10:42 AM

I have felt this way so much, it scares me that I don't care. I had even become more reckless with my driving, a few close calls and instead of relief I just felt nothing. I was telling my husband how I almost got into a wreck and my 9 year old daughter overheard me and said, "I don't want you to die mom." Ever since then this little phrase has given me so much hope. She wants me, needs me, loves me.

I have been trying out different recipes on pinterest, also finding ways to save money has been a goal. I started a garden and I was trying to exercise more. Audio books have been enjoyable. These may seem like small things but they have really helped, whether giving me a purpose or not-they have been a good distraction.

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