[lfshadow]

My depression started 10 years ago when my brother committed suicide; 6 months later my Mom died from cancer; and 2 months after her my Dad committed suicide. My husband, of 14 years, couldn't deal with my depression. He mostly ignored me and used me for several years before leaving me. I was so depressed that I stayed at home alone for about 3 or 4 years. I rarely saw or spoke to anyone during this time.
Now, for the past 3 years, I have been going out and trying to socialize with friends (old and new). But I am finding that, for the most part, I am being rejected by almost everyone I come in contact with. They are polite when I talk to them, but they do not make an effort to talk to me or include me in any of there
lives. I am left out of all social events, never invited to social gatherings, etc. I had a Christmas Party two years ago and no one, (not one person) showed up.
I am taking antidepressants, and I always try to be in a good mood when in public, however I am still rejected. My Depression has caused people to reject and avoid me, and their rejection and avoidance has caused me to continue to be more depressed. It is a never ending cycle.
I’ve been trying for 3 years now, and it’s hard to change people’s attitudes after they have “labeled” you as being a certain type. How can I end this cycle? How do I get people to change their views of me? I am very lonely and sad because of this.

[whitt]

Yeah, it can be harsh. Sorry to hear your being treated like that, as you've been through so much already.

I've just started to get myself back out after depression for years.
Others do shy away once they start to know me and they learn about my depression and sickness. They are all nice, and do try to invite me to events and parties and such, but due to the way I am now, I cannot do what they can without risking a severe episode, which I fear further disconnects me. I always have to decline, or bail out, and we disconnect, as I can't participate in what they spend time doing. I feel they stop talking to me because they are either afraid of upsetting or dont know what to say, as we just cant relate much anymore.

Sometimes I feel I have to just pretend it doesn't exist to be able to talk to anyone, but I can't hide from the truth.

Even with my best friend I have known since elementary, I find that I can't seem to connect with him anymore like I used to. We can only seem to talk of the past... It seems as if we are too different now after what has happened, that I can't carry on a conversation, even though we both are trying... We have different priorities now, most others are thinking about college, friends and careers, while I am stuck just trying to keep myself together it seems.

I've been putting myself out in crowds, in groups and forums on the internet and especially once I got here, I finally feel I can again find those I can relate to. There are a lot of people out, if we can find each other, and i can for once not have to be so fearful of how much I reveal of myself in front of others.

Depression can change so much, I'm not the person I once was, but I'm trying to make new connections now, and its helping.

Catch me in the chat rooms, as I frequent these, if you want to talk less formally.
Though I will be going to Oklahoma for the next few days so I wont be around till i get back.

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry for all that has happened in your life. Sometimes it takes time to find friends. Do you have any particular interests or hobbies? Many times you can find people that you have something in common with. Maybe you can take a class in something that interests you and meet other people that way. I am sorry that it is effecting you so much. Please take care.

BB

[sassypants]

I am so sorry you have gone through all of this pain. I also can relate to my friends not wanting to contact me, or do
things. It really hurts, and I haven't asked any of them if
they still want my friendship. I am still at a point where I
feel okay one day,then the next day I am so depressed,that
i can't function. LIke getting out of bed,taking a shower.

So in way, I don't want to disappoint anyone by trying to make plans and then not show up. I can't believe no one
showed up to your X-mas party. That is terrible. I hope you
are able to go out and meet new friends, who appreciate
you and love you for who you are.

Please take care of yourself. Sending you a BIg HUG!

[hopelesswife42]

Hi,
I am the same way and DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! Everyone tells me it's my own fault, but how can it be? I didn't ask to be depressed! It runs in families and i got it from my mom who is (extreme Bipolor)! Sorry to hear you had a bad time with yours I don't work because of my depression, trying to get disability from it. Even that is hard since depression is labeled as ''menta disorder'' and not considered an option for disability. My husband is supportive but it would help a great deal if i had friends on the outside who understand.

Take Care!
Amy

[stefano]

I think you need find better people. If you were on a wheelchair they would welcome you, but a depressed person is a pariah. Hell, this depression thing is kind of epidemic what do they think? Really, try to raise the cultural level of your friends or supposedly friends.

The idea of taking classes in some artistic or creative activity is good. I am recently spending a lot of time among theatre people, actors and directors mainly from amateur groups, as a stage photographer. It is great people. Acting takes people in touch with emotions, and makes them more sensitive to one's and other's feelings.

But last, as a general rule, don't tell EVERYONE you are depressed. Don't do it before you are sure he/she can understand. If you can't get out of home, just say you have migraine, or back pain, or whatever "respectable" disease.

The best of luck