[TheSadBarista]

I feel like life is happening to everyone around me, but not me? Like everyone else is living and I'm just existing? What do I do?

I just figured this out recently. It only makes sense to me because I've always felt that there was a barrier between me and everything normal. Relationships, friendships, school, work, LIVING, all don't seem like anything I could do. I always struggled with school and taking anything seriously because it doesn't feel like real life so what so what is the point. I can't even find out my major. But if another person was getting a job and working for good grades, that's all perfectly normal because that is life and that's what people do. I could never imagine myself being in a relationship but when friends get them I understand because that's normal that is what people do. And then, I feel jealous, because I can't live or even be normal like friends and family are because of this imaginary barrier that blocks me from living. I feel like I'm floating through life while everyone is actually living.

I know that was a lot to read but I'm so confused by all this and trying to understand it all. I don't know what to do or if I should tell my friends or family. If anyone has any idea what this could be or what to do, that'd be so great. Thank you so much for any help at all.

[Fizzyo]

Hi Sadbarista,
Welcome to PC! I really relate to what you say that it feels like life is moving on for other people but feels unreal to you.

I live with depression and that often makes the world feel unreal, like I'm watching myself doing things and other people living in it.
Anxiety can also make one feel detached, like in a bubble.

Sadly some things have to be done a t a particular stage in life like school, college etc and then we just have to do what we can, whatever it feels like. That's hard, but it can be possible, with the right support.

What support is there where you're studying? Is there a counsellor you can speak to who can help you through and help you with the questions of who to tell and how?
Some people it is helpful to tell and they will be supportive, others may be dismissive or unhelpful and you are probably the best person to decide which is which.

My feeling is that you need support from someone, and possibly professional support. A counsellor or trusted teacher/lecturer may be best placed to help you decide.

Don't try to live this by yourself.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well and hope to hear more from you.
We're here for each other.

i can relate to this post too.

i'm so sick of everyone around me- having something going on.. colledge, university, vacations, good jobs, hanging with friends, and what am i doing... sitting in my room wondering where everything went wrong

welcome to the site by the way. hopefully it will help

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I relate heavily - things happen to other people, but not to me.

I also get this anxiety more and more that all my goals and internal narratives are the product of delusion. After all, I'm only one person out of seven billion, I'm not special or chose in any way, what right do I have to feel anything? Nothing will ever happen, maybe I'm just stuck like this. Then eventually I swing to the other side and want to make something of myself, want to make myself matter, make my story not a joke.

It's awful.

I feel very much the same way. When I'm at home, I feel like I'm the only one who lives alone. Well, I'm not the only one who lives alone. My two neighbors live alone, also, but it seems like they have so much going on with people and things. There's a guy who lives next door to me on the same level. He's a nice guy and enjoyable to talk to. But I hardly see him. He's very busy with work and has a nice girlfriend that he spends a lot of time with.
A woman that lives below him lives alone, also. She has a lot of family members visiting her and has friends. I don't like her. When I go to the pool area, I really feel like life is happening so much to others and not me.

I don't feel as much as an oddball at where I work. There may be others at where I work that may feel the same way I do. But I don't know that because I don't get intimate with the people at my job. There seems to be quite a few that don't have real good social skills.

And then when I go to church, I really feel "shown off" on how bad I am. When I'm with my friend, he would very often look off when I'm talking to him; and then he would flag others to join him. When the others come, they just talk to him and totally ignore me. It's stuff like that is the reason I want to leave that church.

[Angelique67]

I feel the same way. Even if I had a car, there's no proof I'd use it to make new friendship by going to the senior center. I'm supposed to, though, according to a clinician who evaluated me in March.

I'm getting so horribly lonely.

I agree about the church experience, if you feel less than welcome there, I'd be off exploring new ones.

Will, your friend sounds downright rude after church. He looks away while you're talking, to widen your circle after church. I guess he doesn't mean for that to be insensitive but it sure sounds like it to me.

Still, a large part of the church experience is to convene with people who share a similar outlook, and make friendships. Even if your friend weren't acting rude, I'd advise you to try other churches. It has to contain enough possibilities as possible. Friendships, spiritual guidance, etc.

I don't mean to be rude to say these things, just hope to encourage you, Will, to find a church that's better for you. And let your friend have his Sunday time to use on all his church friends.

ETA, that should be, let your friend have his church time to be with his other church friends. My mom is in her late 80s and I just know she'd do the same things as your friend. Luckily, i moved 800 miles away from her with no plans to go back.

I know you often use Sundays to hang out with your friend. You could still do that, but without the same church time. I hope things are going to get better. Right now I feel like my life is going to be nothing more than worsening of everything until I'm finally gone from the planet.