My depression

WARNING: I do speak of my suicidal thoughts and what causes them. I won't go to too far into detail, and I will use the trigger warning, but this just an extra precaution.

It's been a long time since my depression has started, and I've only recently had enough courage to ask for help. Pretty much, everyone at school ignores me to some extent, my mother only cares about me when I do something she likes or something incredible, everyone at school has some amazing talent yet I'm stuck wondering what I'm good at. Things I used to enjoy doing have become suicidal thought triggers, and I am falling into a pit of hopelessness. I'm alone, scared, and I don't know what to do. That's why I'm here.

Hello & Welcome, LysthieaMoons.
Loss of pleasure in once-enjoyable activities can be a sign of depression.

Do you have someone at your school to whom you would feel comfortable talking about what you are experiencing?

Depression can accompany various medical conditions, and medical conditions can produce depression-like symptoms. Do you have a doctor who can give you a full medical workup?

Please make yourself at home here.

I'm sorry you are in a bad place.

I don't want to sound invalidating but people are always better at something. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Try not to best yourself up because you are the greatest at anything of those around you. You do what you do and that is all we can do.

It's hard to have a parent that doesn't show they care. I bet it hurts a lot to feel like you have to succeed to feel loved. You are a person and deserve love if you pass or fail. You deserve love when things are going great and more so you deserve love when you can barely cope and just need someone there to tell you they care and you can get through this.

Therapy and meds may help the symptoms of depression. It's hard for some teens to get that because they don't believe there is anything wrong. I hope it doesn't get to the point you end up in the hospital before you get the help you need.

I have done something similar as you. When I have suicide ideation I can't escape from I draw stick figures dying. Part of it I think let's me express those thoughts because I can't share them with anyone.

Try to take care of yourself. Call 911, suicide hotline or go to the ER before you do something drastic.

Try talking to your parents. If they dismiss you don't give up. Your problems are real and you are under a lot of suffering. There are people that care and there is help out there.

At the moment, school people are not an option, as I am entering a new school next year. I will try to see if they have a counsellor or something there.

As for doctors, due to the lack of money in my family, and my fear of speaking to my mother, I currently have no doctor who can give me a full medical workup.

Thank you for answering my little cry for help. Your comment meant the world to me!

For what it's worth you're not alone here. There are many people on this site that are here and willing to listen. A few have even responded to this particular thread. We may not always have the answers but we are willing to listen. Regardless of what you say no one will look at you any differently. Sometimes just talking about it helps. So feel free to jump on here at anytime & talk about whatever you're comfortable with. You will always find someone willing to listen. What you won't find is people judging you. I have news for you. Everyone on here has problems. That's why we're all here. No one's problems is any less significant than anyone else's. I hope you can get this worked out.