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#1
Jul 04, 2016, 05:23 PM
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I find that if i have a choice as soon as i choose option one i want option two. This can be from something simple like choosing a meal... shall i eat chinese or fish and chips... as soon as i order one i want the other... and then don't enjoy the one i have chosen. Bigger decisions like shall we go away for the weekend or not... If we don't go I spend the whole weekend wishing we had, and if we do I wish we hadn't. I find i can't make big decisions (like moving house) and then end up doing the default of doing nothing and later regretting it. I have always had some degree of difficulty with decisions but over the last two or three years it has become a real problem. In fact it is ruining my life as i end up not enjoying whatever i am doing as i regret what i am not doing.
Has anyone else experienced similar problems? I am really interested to know if anyone has, and also for any ways to combat this. Thank you |
 Fizzyo
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#2
Jul 05, 2016, 03:58 PM
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Hello alexa234: Yes, the Skeezyks often has this experience... particularly when it comes to going out versus staying home. I tend to imagine I'd like to go out. But on the off chance I do so, I just wish I'd stayed home...
 I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions for how to combat it though. In my case, I simply know from past experience that this is how I'm likely to react. And so I just try to let it be... 
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#3
Jul 14, 2016, 04:02 PM
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Welcome to human nature. I think most of us are inclined to want what we don't have and worry that what we choose is the wrong or bad choice. I don't have an easy answer. When I have made a choice I try really hard to forget the other options and if I have bought something I try to make sure I don't see a price for the same thing anywhere else.
Sorry you struggle so much this way. Wishing you well and caring thoughts.  (Now I'm worried what I said might upset someone, but I hope they will understand these are thoughts from my heart, not instructions on how to live.
__________________
We're people first, anything else is secondary. |
| Fuzzybear
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#4
Jul 14, 2016, 04:59 PM
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I agree, it's in our nature to do so. We always wonder if that other choice would have been better. It only makes sense that this happen all the more often at times when we are down; when we are already questioning ourselves anyway. I suppose the opposite is true; consider, the split decisions we make when we are manic, right?
My CBT taught me to make lists (whether literally or mentally) like pros vs cons, advantages vs disadvantages. I suppose with repeated practise it just happens automtically to me now. My point though is that it has been helpful to me. I wanted to mention though also that I used to have a real problem between making a choice for what I believed was best for me and the choice that others would deem to be correct. My life was a whole lot better once I got out of that trap. |
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#5
Jul 15, 2016, 04:00 AM
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Quote:
yes and like you.. it's always the things that are (meant) to be easy like... do i want a drink- no i don't think so, i'll have it later, then turn round to leave the kitchen and think.... well, actually, i will- then i'll turn back round and think.. well i all ready said i don't want 1, why am i going back? yeah food too, even what to do in the day- i hate deciding things, because 1 thing's garanteed.. if i'm in charge of it, i'll never make up my mind- never |
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