It's Just Too Much

I'm really overwhelmed and frustrated. I have a lot going on and I'm not sure how to cope with it all. I suffer from major depression and I'm on a lot of medications and I'm also getting ECT treatments which is electric shock treatments. I have had 15 so far and I have only seen a small improvement. My medical bills are piling up, plus I still owe money to taxes. I have been off work for a month now because I can't drive because of the ECT. I'm also dealing with divorce issues with my ex husband, I'm trying not to talk to him but it's very hard because we have a child. I'm worried I'm going to have to do ECT for the rest of my life. I already have short term memory problems from the treatments and I'm scared that this how its going to be forever.

Hello lunafay: The Skeezyks can't really comment with regard to your ECT treatments having never had them. (It was recommended to me once. But I declined.) I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation & having to deal with so many problems all at the same time. This must be very hard on you. I can only offer my best wishes with the hope that, in some way, you will be able to find deep peace within...

Thank you so much for your support

Hi Lunafay, Like The Skeezyks, I cannot comment on your ECT as it was suggested me me and I also declined.

All I can say as a mum who has raised 2 now adult children pretty much on my own, my children have always been my protective factors as I always just instinctively knew that no matter how low I feel, they need me and providing the necessities for them have always made me push myself through whatever terrible condition I really wanted to give in to. My dogs have been like a secondary protective factor as I know on the most basic level that they rely on me for nourishment, water, shelter and love. As with my children they have helped me to push through.

All I can say is that it has been sheer will. There were days when my children were young but at school when I literally had to force myself out of the bed and step by step force myself to get them ready for school with a good breakfast and packed lunch, then get myself ready to get them to school and me to work. Sheer bloody will, day after day - all the while smiling and laughing and asking them questions and "being happy" for their sake.

I don't know what I can say that will make it easier other than you are not alone and there are those who really know what you are experiencing. Sometimes we have to lie to ourselves as much as to the people we love, just to get through the day moment by moment. It is the most arduous task that could be asked of anyone.

My thoughts are with you, willing you on and I am sorry that you are dealing with all of these things all at the same time - it must feel very overwhelming but what I do know is that it ebbs and flows and we can find ways to get through if that's what it takes to just get to a point where you can take a breath.

Thank you so much. It's so nice to know I can relate to someone. In a way my son keeps me strong but it is hard because I know he knows I'm just pushing through for him. Thank you again for your advise. Means a lot

In many ways our children keep us strong because we know that they did not ask to be born -that was our decision. It amazes me that the depth of love we have for our children and the life raft they can be. I send much love and thoughts of strength an tolerance and patience.

My son in 21 and has a form of autism. To be brutally honest if it weren't for him I doubt I'd still be here, so I understand where you're coming from.

FWIW I had ECT three years ago. There was some short-term memory loss but it has lessened in severity over time. Long term memory was unaffected, as was overall ability to process stuff - general intelligence or whatever you call it. If you reach the point that it's clear it isn't helping, pull the plug, but if you do notice improvements I'd say not to worry overmuch about scatterbrained-ness as it's likely temporary. Go with what's working. Listen to the doc. Get a second opinion if necessary.

I'm really sorry for your situation I really am. I wish I had some advice... but, even if you probably don't need it at the moment, you have all my attention and a big hug. I'm always ready to listen, if you need to.