I don't know what I want

I have a decent job now, so that's one less thing to worry about compared to last year.

I don't have any goals in life, I am just sort of drifting with the wind or whatever. I don't really want to grow up, I have no desire for intimacy or relationships other than friendships, I don't have a ton of friends but I worry a lot about losing touch with them.

I thought I'd feel better after getting a job. My job keeps me busy, and I usually don't have too much time to obsess over my thoughts. I feel like I am still depressed, but in a different way, for different reasons. Every now and then I just stop what I'm doing and think 'what the heck am I doing with my life?' or 'Where is my life going?'

I have rediscovered my passion for my guitar, and getting better on it makes me feel good. It seems to be the only thing giving me a sense of satisfaction right now, I wish I had more time to spend on it.

Hello introspectiveme: I suspect the majority of people in the world live their lives the way you describe... "drifting with the wind"... just doing whatever needs to be done... whatever they have the opportunity to do... in order to get by. A few people find something they are passionate about & pursue it relentlessly. Not everyone can do that though... even if they want to.

So, anyway, with those thoughts in mind, I don't know as how you're living at the moment is that much different from the majority of people. It is good you have a passion for the guitar. Having something like this you enjoy can be important as you continue your day-to-day life activities. By the way, do you follow any particular guitarists on YouTube by any chance? I subscribe to Tatyana Ryzhkova's channel & also Per-Olav Kindgren. I have several audio CD's by Filomena Moretti. She does not have a YouTube channel though. So I can't subscribe to her. I'm often listening to music videos on YouTube while I'm replying to posts here on PC. Right now I'm listening to "Now We Are Free"... Hans Zinmmer & Lisa Gerrard:



It's not guitar music. But it is beautiful...

Thanks, I will check them out for sure. I'm mostly into alternative rock and metal from the 80's and 90's, but always willing to expand my tastes.

Sometimes, I know what I want to do, I just wish I didn't give myself excuses or didn't feel bad about myself. I want to give something my all, whether or not I succeed.

Okay! Hey... are you familiar with Free Music Archive? If not, you might check it out...

Free Music Archive

No, thanks for the link.