[TryingToCope]

I'm too tired to keep going. I feel so empty. It hurts so much that my husband can't stand to hold my hand or give me a hug. I need him to hold me, but I know that won't happen. He let's me know all the time how worthless I am. What a disappointment I am to him. That I'm a failure at almost everything. Everything just seems so hopeless today.

[damajdancer]

(((((((((( tryingtocope )))))))))))))
im so sorry your husband wont be there for you.
all of us here at pc are here, and we will always listen and support you.
i hope your day gets better, you deserve it.

[stefano]

I sympathize with you for this bad time. I hope you husband quitted being supportive after trying his best. I hope he didn't put the blame on you too easily.

Anyway, you should focus on what is vital. Treating depression is vital. Depression is defeating both you and your husband. Of course support from loved ones is important, but focus on the enemy.

The best of luck

[TryingToCope]

(((((damajdancer))))) Thank you.
stefano, my husband has put me down for many years now. I'm nothing more than a maid to him.

[txconfusion07]

(((((((((tryingtocope))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is treating you this way. I'm not in the same position, but I was with my ex and it's horrible and wrong. I understand what stefeno is saying about depression being your enemy...but maybe you need to get out of that kind of relationship. I find it hard to believe that he ever gave anything is best if he is telling you that you are a dissapointment to him. And that he doesn't want to hold you and help you. You can't get through something like depression with someone telling you are worthless. Is that the reason for the depression or just adding TO your already having depression. Either way....it's wrong and you can do better and SHOULD do better. No one deserves to be treated that way. And one day maybe he will realize the chance he missed to grow with you and help you and be there to love you....because one day he will need to be loved....and he may need to be help and supported through a hard time.....and he will be alone......

[wickedwings]

i agree with txconfusion..... my hubby educated himself on depression by going online. to my surprise, he was so understanding when he did educate himself. he's been so supportive and caring to me. i'm so grateful i could cry. i love him so much. so sorry your husband can't understand or educate himself on this. we're here if you need us.

[stefano]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
TryingToCope said:
my husband has put me down for many years now. I'm nothing more than a maid to him.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hm, that is really bad. At this point, what you need is emotional detachment. If you feel you need support from one who has prooved to be a source of blame, you must stop waiting from validation from that part. I don't suggest to divorce, but it is vital to detach from your H emotionally. If depression was heart disease, a person like your husband is like cigarettes. You have to quit.
I realize fully how this can be DIFFICULT. But you need it in order to stop you life from sucking. You can't do it alone, you need therapy.

I really wish you the best of luck

[debbie_tabor]

Your husband is the one who is worthless.

(((((((trying to cope)))))))

[TryingToCope]

txconfusion
wickedwings
stefano
debbie
Thank you all. I wish my husband would try to educate himself on depression. He doesn't want to. He isn't interested in how any one else is doing other than him. He only cares that he gets what he wants, and that the kids and I only do what he wants us to do, or has given us permission to do. The way things are at home is adding to the depression, not the cause of it.

I am working with a t on this. I am trying to find me again, instead of being who my husband tells me to be. It's hard to do. My husband is fighting me every step of the way, trying to gain more and more controle.

(((((hugs to all of you)))))

((((Trying To Cope))))

I am listening and I hear what you are saying. You are not worthless and you deserve to be heard and held. I pray things will get better for you. Sometimes, people refuse to educate themselves because then they would have to acknowledge that they were wrong. They do not want to hear the truth because that would not allow them to know so much.

I too have been where you are. I was married to the perfect man and everythng was my fault. If I would just change, just snap out of it, then everything would be okay. Control is something it seems some cannot get enough of, even at the expense of others. You are not to blame. You are seeking and working to understand. For that I commend you.

Do not let anyone take away what you know to be real and true in your heart. It is those that judge and refuse to look at themselves that have the problem. For remember, when someone is pointing their finger at you, there are 3 more pointing back at themself. Keep posting and reaching. I send you love and friendship. You are not alone.

purplesecrets

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( TryingToCope ))))))))))))))))

[TryingToCope]

((((((purplesecrets))))))
((((((Fuzzy))))))
Thank you both.

[debbie_tabor]

Sending you strength for finding yourself again in your marriage. (Can't find a weight-lifting smilie).