Guilt

Today is one of those days. Stayed home from work, just couldn't get up and face the world and now the guilt has set in. Feeling like a total failure in life. I know how much I disappoint my husband and coworkers when I do this but some days I just can't face the world and have such hatred for myself. I'm diagnosed bipolar but spend most of my time on the depressed side. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being lazy and selfish. I'm on medication and recently stopped therapy because my therapist moved to another town...maybe I should seek a new one...idk. my husband suggested I need more activity in my life and he is right about that, since my breakdown and diagnosis two years ago I do very little. I don't even clean and rarely cook any more. I think I would feel better about myself if I was contributing more. I spend a lot of time on the weekends sleeping and I feel like a terrible wife. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself today. Anyway, just getting some stuff off my chest. Just feeling guilty and worthless.

"[Common] side effects of [your meds] include...

"dizziness, drowsiness, tired feeling, fatigue...mental slowness, trouble concentrating...

"drowsiness, dizziness...

"dizziness, drowsiness...tiredness...

"dizziness, drowsiness..."

You may feel as if you are lazy. Others may describe you so. That hurts. Nevertheless, you have an illness and are taking medications for that illness.

Thanks for your replies I appreciate them. I know I looked up side effects when I first went on meds but it has been awhile...thanks for bringing those back to my attention. They are definitely having that effect on me.

I also have bipolar disorder and, like yourself, spend the vast majority of it on the depressed side of things. Rohag makes a good point about the medication. Regardless, I'm sorry for the pain and guilt you're feeling. I can tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty over this, but if I said it 'til I was blue in the face it wouldn't make the feeling go away. Try to go easy on yourself.

Being active on this site is one glimmering light to ease my pain.
Holding hands together through this is a comforting acknowledgement.
Personally riding bicycles today has liven me up a bit. Although I had my frustrating thoughts along the ride, my body now feels "used" and it makes me feel more eased.