[jman197]

Nothing's alright. Not one thing, but boy am I good at faking it. I've got so many problems going on but even as I fall to pieces I manage to put up that front that everything is okay. I manage to save others from seeing that I'm drowning. Everyone says talk to me, but can I really? What will they say, when I tell them I'm ready to die, not for me, but to spare them. Not saying I'm suicidal, I'm just tired of everyone around me hurting because of something I could have prevented. But everyone thinks I'm strong, I can survive, and boy am I glad they do. I know I'm not a good actor and if they look hard enough they will see. Some do see, I think, but dont want to push me and then have me break.

[MommaD]

I'm glad you can at least say these things to us here on PC--you've got to say them to someone or they will eat you alive.
I have to ask (because depression lies to all of us): are you really responsible for everyone around you being hurt? Is it at all possible that everything bad isn't your fault? It sounds like you're doing your damnedest to be strong for everyone around you--what would happen if you weren't? If you let someone be strong for you?
I just had to ask these questions because depression has caused me to blame myself for many many things that--perhaps--I'm beginning to see weren't all my fault.
I hope you can see that possibility too

[Fizzyo]

[Fuzzybear]