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  #1  
Old Aug 30, 2007, 02:45 PM
ab1018 ab1018 is offline
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I have never been this depressed, ever. My doctor changed me on Monday from Cymbalta to Prozac. The Friday before, I was having suicidal thoughts almost constantly.

Today, I didn't go to work. I'm at a new job, and I was honest (to a degree) about it - I sent an email explaining that I had lost both of my parents last year, two good friends to death, and had a melanoma with a surgery and chemo. And that I had treated it during that time, but I was afraid I was backsliding and I needed a mental health day. No mention of suicidal thoughts or anything like that. One of the partners (the other was slightly nasty when I talked to him - whatever - I'd rather be honest) called and told me they were behind me 100%. (I just started there in June, and missed 2 days with a brutal sinus infection already). The nasty partner knew some of this from the job interview, so it's not a big shock. Luckily, I've done a good job for them, it just doesn't pay enough or have very good insurance. (I quit my last job during the whole debacle called my life mentioned above)

I don't belong to a church and never have, but called about ten of them today. Either the pastor had just resigned (3 of them), was on vacation (3 more), or all I got was voice mail.

Should I called a suicide hotline? I know I'm not supposed to talk about it here, but I'm not sure. I mean, I have those feelings some, but mostly I just cannot stop crying.

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  #2  
Old Aug 30, 2007, 02:58 PM
ab1018 ab1018 is offline
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And, if I do call them, will they send the police or ambulance to my house?
  #3  
Old Aug 30, 2007, 03:56 PM
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Merlin Merlin is offline
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The only reason they would call the police/ambulance is if you were an immediate danger to yourself. If you had expressed the intent to kill yourself in the next day or two. It's actually very difficult to have a person commited.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
  #4  
Old Aug 30, 2007, 04:27 PM
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Etheria Etheria is offline
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Location: S. FLorida
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Hi ab1018, Glad you came here. Keep coming and "talk" it out. I understand how devastating loss can be. I had the worst melt down of my life when I lost my brother then mother within 7 1/2 months to cancer back in '96/'97. It really takes time to heal.

I'm really glad that one of the partners is being supportive. You take care of you and please hang in. Many blessings, Etheria
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"I go to nature to be soothed and healed and to have my senses put in order" -John Burroughs-
  #5  
Old Aug 30, 2007, 08:38 PM
ab1018 ab1018 is offline
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I did call that first number on the suicide resources and spoke to a lady for about 3 hours! I don't know exactly what she did, but it has helped tremendously. I would recommend it for anyone who is in crisis, maybe not completely suicidal, but in trouble and cannot get in touch with a therapist.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it.
  #6  
Old Aug 31, 2007, 05:47 AM
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ab1018,

Just keep putting ur thoughts out here, take it from me it surly helps. I also like ur honesty thats the way it has to be to get thru this,
  #7  
Old Aug 31, 2007, 08:42 PM
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finestitcher finestitcher is offline
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Location: South Central Pennsylvania
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ab, I would think that calling your local Hot Line, which is not just for suicide prevention, may not be a bad idea.

I worked a hot line many years ago in central Florida. We took calls for all kinds of reasons...seeking referral information, just needed to talk to someone, possible suicide, you name it.

Unless someone was actually suicidal, we did not call for any services. We did keep a card file of individuals so that when someone called again, if they called again, we would have a little history on them. We did have some callers who would call daily. So, don't be surprised if they ask you name, you can decline...completely up to you the caller.
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It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.-- Katharine Butler Hathaway
  #8  
Old Aug 31, 2007, 09:13 PM
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((((((((Ab)))))))) Are you okay? Did you call the hotline. Please take care. I hope that you're okay. Please don't do anything rash. We're here for you-talk to us if you can't talk to anyone else. Okay? I just want to escape my feelings and my body....
  #9  
Old Aug 31, 2007, 09:13 PM
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Oh, I didn't see your last post. Whew! I"m glad that you're feeling better. More hugs (((((((((Ab))))))))))
  #10  
Old Sep 02, 2007, 11:42 PM
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ally88 ally88 is offline
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I understand how you feel. I really hope you find some relief soon. (((((((((ab1018)))))))))
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Turn to me and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and hurting.
My troubles have grown larger; free me from my problems- Psalm 25:16-17

I just want to escape my feelings and my body....
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