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Old Feb 22, 2017, 07:52 PM
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prof_x prof_x is offline
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I'm unemployed and not in school. I occasionally work at an art center but I never get that much money. There are some days where I don't do anything at all it seems. I wake up, spend time online, eat, watch TV...on good days I'm able to write or paint or read a lot but sometimes I don't.

My self esteem has nosedived since January when I was supposed to sign up for online college classes but just....didn't. I feel like if I'm not doing anything worthwhile then I'm not worth much as a person. So it's hard to motivate myself to try and do more when I'm already depressed. And the cycle continues...

I don't drive, my transportation is limited to walking or getting rides from others, so I can't really go anywhere farther away by myself.

[trigger warning]
As I've grown more secluded my social anxiety has flared recently and my depression is worsening. I've been wanting to self harm again. If I don't do anything soon I'm scared I'll get back in a very dark place I used to be in.
[trigger warning end]

Is anyone else in similar circumstances? I'd appreciate advice but I also want to know I'm not the only person struggling with this right now... Thanks in advance
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Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.

I've got a magic charm
That I keep up my sleeve
I can walk the ocean floor
And never have to breathe.

Life doesn't frighten me at all
Not at all
Not at all.

Life doesn't frighten me at all.


Maya Angelou

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  #2  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 08:52 PM
tippitippi tippitippi is offline
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Yes me. Social isolation makes me feel more useless and more depressed and I'm cycling down. I seem to be thinking more and more about self harm in ways that haven't been an issue in 20 years

I've run out of money and being in this situation has forced me to ask for help . I hired someone to literally come over and coach me out of this. Not a therapist just someone I know vaguely who seemed like she could help but also doesn't know me enough for me to care what she thinks . Ok I do care but not as much.

Job situation is bad but we talked it over and settled on freelance work . For now.

I do ok parts of the day sometimes when I pop some Ritalin . I'm thinking of taking Zoloft dunno. I think I want to give up and I want to slowly starve myself. I probably won't because I don't even care enough to do that and I end up binging as well . Apathetic mostly.
  #3  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 09:00 PM
Anonymous55397
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Yupp, same boat. Unemployed, not in school. Spend most of my day on the computer and napping. It's a very "meh" place to be in.

The only positive thing I've been doing lately is attending workshops as part of an employment program - where you do 60 hours worth of workshops (that you get paid for attending, thank goodness) and then your worker helps you find employment that suits your interests and qualifications. I am nearing the end of the program, fortunately, so hopefully a job will be found soon enough.

  #4  
Old Feb 22, 2017, 10:23 PM
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prof_x prof_x is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredandconfused View Post
Yupp, same boat. Unemployed, not in school. Spend most of my day on the computer and napping. It's a very "meh" place to be in.

The only positive thing I've been doing lately is attending workshops as part of an employment program - where you do 60 hours worth of workshops (that you get paid for attending, thank goodness) and then your worker helps you find employment that suits your interests and qualifications. I am nearing the end of the program, fortunately, so hopefully a job will be found soon enough.

Thats good! I hope it goes well, sending good vibes.

I applied for a job at a cafeteria inside the hospital my mom works at. They have an opening for third shift. I like being up late anyway. I hope I get the job, it's decent pay and flexible hours and I'd be able to get rides since my mom also works thirds.

If I don't get the job I'm going to have to have a tiny mental breakdown then get cracking on job listing boards
__________________


Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.

I've got a magic charm
That I keep up my sleeve
I can walk the ocean floor
And never have to breathe.

Life doesn't frighten me at all
Not at all
Not at all.

Life doesn't frighten me at all.


Maya Angelou

Hugs from:
*Laurie*
  #5  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 04:50 AM
Anonymous32451
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yeah, me too.

I think the sad part is (especially for me), that I have every day to try something new, or try something diffrent, or do something I enjoy, and I just don't

I just let life slip past me without much care in the world (I do care when it hits me later, but at the time...)

I often wonder if I had a reset option to restart life again, would I do it

Possible trigger:
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*Laurie*
  #6  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 04:53 AM
Anonymous32451
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as for work/school, well, most of my school days were spent in a hospital ward (even though I was present at school for a short while), and i've been told I can't work, which actually never bothered me

so I wanted to be a computer technitian growing up, but their's times when you have to face the facts... you don't know anything about computers, so even if you could work, it's sort of out the question
  #7  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 05:19 AM
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stayingafloat stayingafloat is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
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I dreaded days where i have to face the world and start working and also its difficult for me to get out of my bed for both work and offdays. I cant seem to find any willpower and purpose for me to start living again and i hope one day i will die in my sleep
  #8  
Old Feb 23, 2017, 11:17 AM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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Yes, add me onto the list of people who 'do nothing' all day. I'm an empty nester and it's hit me hard. I spend day after day alone and isolated. I manage basic chores, sometimes I manage a walk or a little bit of yoga. I take care of my cats (thank the universe for them!). I watch TV, read, hang around online, watch the day pass. I do have 2 volunteer positions I'm hopefully going to be connected in with in the (hopefully) near future. Sometimes I think my life is just over. No, actually MANY times I think my life is just over.
  #9  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 10:48 AM
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Nazaqacaza Nazaqacaza is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 30
Similar here. Been like that since god knows how many years.

Lack of motivation + laziness + fear held me for a long time, and I don't know my problem is. Have things that I wanted to do, but didn't feel like doing so + easily distracted. Tried to push myself but didn't work out, I'm not strong in that aspect which I feel very disappointed of.

Used to do things when I'm 'feeling it' but right now, there's no more.

In the end spending days doing unproductive stuffs in the Internet. Unemployed now, been looking for a job and now I'm stressed thinking of this.
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