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#1
Mar 20, 2017, 11:37 AM
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I have spent so much time trying to get better. I really don't care anymore.
 It doesn't matter whether or not I am in a good mood or a bad mood. Nothing changes. The reason I am not on an AD is that I had severe side effects and in the past it did nothing but make me agitated. If there is one thing I hate more than depression it is anxiety and agitation.  It seems crazy but I believe that things will get better no matter what I do.  The reason I believe this is because it has been my experience in the past. I guess I always have a low level of depression going on. I think maybe I am dysthymic. And it is intensified when I am stressed. I need to work on bringing the stress down in my life.  That's the only way I will see improvement.  I am alone, without an H or family, friends, or a dear pet. So it is tough. Really tough. I don't care anymore and I feel like giving up. But I have to keep trying. Minute by minute. Day by day. And maybe things will get better.  But today. I really don't give a flying fig. But will give myself a mental hug. 
__________________
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 Anonymous37954, Fuzzybear, subtle lights, woe-be-gone
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#2
Mar 20, 2017, 05:38 PM
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This is so similar to how I felt today...
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| DechanDawa
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 DechanDawa
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#3
Mar 20, 2017, 05:42 PM
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You're not alone...I can completely relate. You're doing everything you can! Stay kind to yourself <3
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| DechanDawa
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| DechanDawa
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#4
Mar 20, 2017, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Really? I think I expressed frustration...but also hope. Hold on, my friend, hold on.
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#5
Mar 20, 2017, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Thank you. I feel like I appear completely crazy in my posts. The thing is I really want to get better and it is soooooooooooooooo frustrating. So tiring. I just want to be out of this 2.5 year depressive episode. And I never want to come back. Yes, I am trying to be kind to myself. Thank you. The world is tough enough. Be kind to yourself as well.
__________________
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#6
Mar 20, 2017, 06:52 PM
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You are making the best of your situation and you should be very proud of yourself!! I am!
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| DechanDawa
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| DechanDawa
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#7
Mar 20, 2017, 07:03 PM
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Quote:
of course it does not matter .... the world is sorrowful ... has always been ... will always be ...the world does not change ... it can not change .... it is what is ... you can not change you are who you are ... always have been ... always will be .... what can change is you deciding to (not out of obligation ... but out of choice) to participate "joyfully" in this world of sorrows .... that is the answer ... nothing changes but everything changes ... peace .. Tigger. |
| DechanDawa
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| DechanDawa
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#8
Mar 20, 2017, 07:25 PM
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Thank you. This was beautiful and heartening. 
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#9
Mar 20, 2017, 07:26 PM
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Gorgeous words. Thank you.
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