Why am I so alone?

What do you do to fight loneliness? I can be in a room packed with people and still feel all alone. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I think I am an outgoing person. I'm involved with my school, I am the Senior Student representative. I play sports. But I feel so alone. It just tears me up.

Hi Amanda,
It happened to me when I was very, very depressed. Is this new for you, or it has been happening for a while?

It has been happening for at least 6 years. I don't need to be depressed to feel this way.

I feel alone because i have no real significant connection with anyone and i would like to feel this connection with a significant other not just a friend.

I am 46 and have always felt alone for connection with a significant other not just friends...friends have always not been on the same wavelength or just not good friends. I am lonely for someone close. I have been to every evening class meet up group etc when i was younger and never made friends or found anyone. I feel i need to focus on not going out but on what i like to do like photography, art and music and do these things and hopefully by doing and ollowing my passions i meet others with the same passions.

Hi Sylphine,
I think you are right.

Hi Amanda

Depression can absolutely cut you off from people
And they can say/be anything you might otherwise want them to say/be, but it can all still feel real meaningless, right?
I know you say you don't need depression to feel that way...........but could there be a chance that even though it's felt like the depression isn't there at periods it may still have been............slightly underlying how you see/feel the world??
Sometimes it can lie just under the surface...........and you can sometimes still be outgoing and depressed as well deep down..........
Maybe, maybe not...........but...........
Could you imagine some of the aspects of what a real connection might feel/be like for you...........different sorts of connection have meaning for different people..........
Maybe you feel that a connection could lie in someone truely understanding/knowing what you're feeling and some of the things you're going through/been through..........maybe it would be about someone sharing the same interests...........maybe it could be about getting to the point with someone where you could tell them anything and not feel judged..........maybe it could be about having someone to share the same life path with...........or even a mix of these/any things..........
I'm just thinking if you could identify what might be real important to you it might give you some clues about where/how might give you more chances of building a connections..........help you feel less alone.......
It might be you decide on joining a support group for feeling connectedness, or a leisure club, or decide starting real slowly with some/anyone could help and see if time together can help, or even starting reaching out more online if nothing else..........
And if there's any thing/s which have happened in your life or with people who have been around you which have impacted on you finding it hard to make connections........perhaps you could get some support with that..........
But if depression is a part of it, maybe you could reach out for support with that primarily........because that can definately make things real hard too............

Just some thoughts...........



Alison

How much (if at all) did you feel alone before the loss of your parents?

I don't think I ever felt alone when my parents were alive. I would say I never knew what loneliness meant until after that day.

The felt loneliness then could be part of, an ecpression of, your trauma and grief.



Have you ever specifically addressed your loneliness with a therapist?

I think so? We have talked about so many things. I'll bring it up again next we meet. To see if maybe since I'm older it can be faced.

Amanda

The searing loneliness, then, could be an aspect or expression of your trauma and grief.



Have you ever worked with a therapist, perhaps a grief therapist, specifically to address the loneliness?

Same Post?

I'm sorry, I thought that the first one was accidentally erased.



Speaking with T about it is a good idea in my opinion.



If you are willing to share here, it might be helpful to post again about it after you speak with your T.

No Problem... My life is an open book. I come from a famous family lineage.
My sister could have taken on the title but refused it so it fell to me to step up. It can be a burden at times. But on the other side I love it.

Amanda

I am so sorry that you lost your parents and feel alone sometimes. My heart breaks for you. I don't have any answers but I'm here if you need to talk.

Thanks, Jennifer. It can get lonely at times but since my girlfriend moved it it has been better...

I'm so glad you have somebody with you.