Just can't shake it....

I am at a loss.

You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff I do weekly and daily to keep depression at bay. I even went to a horse therapy day yesterday. I cried for three hours. Fortunately, the leader knew all about depression so it worked out.

A friend of mine this morning suggested either my Wellbutrin has pooped out or that I might try ECT. I am scared to death of ECT.

I'm not down in bed, but I sit a lot on the couch. It's not a black hole...more of a low level sadness that can erupt into tears anytime.

I am 57 and this is no way to live life.

Thanks for reading.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. Sometimes when depression gets really bad, all the self-help activities in the world won't be enough unfortunately.

A med change may be in order. Sometimes a medication will work great for a long time but eventually it doesn't do the trick. Can you talk to your doctor about possibly changing things up?

As for ECT, I've had it before. It worked better than any anti-depressant I've been on, and helped pull me out of my worst depression ever. If it weren't for the memory side effects, I would probably be having maintenance treatments to this day. That being said, memory side effects are absolutely worth it if it means being dragged out of your depression. It can be a scary procedure but it is safe and it does work. I would definitely consider it if medications don't work out for you. If you do decide to get ECT, be sure to write down any important information you'd like to remember, such as passwords and all that fun stuff.

I hope that, whatever you decide, you find something that works for you and improves your mood. You are right, being depressed is no way to live.

Thanks for the hug, scared and confused, it means a lot.

Edited to add: I didn't see your post. Thanks so much for all of the advice and support.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I completely understand your fears and worries..

((((( lilypup )))))

No, you are not alone. Sometimes no matter what I do or don't do that darn depression just drags me under. How's your relationship with your pdoc? Any help if you speak with him/her?

I am scared of ECT, too.

Hi there. We are almost the same age and I know how it feels to be depressed. I would describe my depression the same way I'm not in a black hole, but it's pretty close. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I just want to return to the person I used to be before this stormy cloud came over me. I joined this site today because I wanted to see that other people suffer from this and I'm not alone. I used to be able to talk to my parents about this 'depression stuff' and they would always help me work through it. They have passed now and I miss them so much. They've been gone awhile now and I still miss them. My husband and grown kids try to help me, but they don't get what depression is so it's tough for them to help me. I totally get that they don't understand what depression is because I was never depressed until I was in my 30's.
What I think is I need is a person that lives close to me that is going through the same type stuff as me. We can help each other. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you know understand what I'm saying please reply. I've been to so many docs & tried so many antidepressants and still it hasn't helped. I've been to a few therapists for Cognitive Behavior Therapy but I sometimes think they are there for the money. A regular person that gets what you're going through I think would be the answer. For me anyways. Tell me how you're feeling today? I have a few good things you could try.

My psychiatrist also recommended ECT. When I researched it, I found something as effective without all the risk called TMS. (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) You might want to google it and look for a specialist in your area.

I am actually feeling a bit better today, thank god. I am so sorry you have lost your parents...I know they can be a great help. Please send me a private message and I'll be glad to talk to you.

I will check it out. Thanks!

TMS was just suggested to me... Have you tried it? It looks a little scary with "less chance side effects" of seizures, memory loss, and other things. Headaches, some pain or discomfort.
No one has suggested to me before that my depression was treatment resistant, but I see now that is what is being implied.
I read about TMS in Wikipedia

Im sorry you are having such a bad time. I also do stuff to lift my depression and it doesn't work. I'm mostly on the recliner. You're not alone. If you need to talk I'm here for you.