I opened a huge can of worms by talking about my suicial behavior.

First of all I do have a psychiatrist and she has been a positive influence in my life. 8 years of non stop pain. 3 psychiatric hospitalization. 3 failed suicides. I have had mulitiple surgeries and now I live with the side effects. Ive done everthing that was available and now I'm gaving my docotor a chance to terminate out of this relationship. I told her that she need to get away from me. I just want to be leaf alone. This will be my decision, I'm such a loser and I've waited too long.

My doctor had built a solid practice and deserve better. I've My promised to be far away. I shoule

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broken2007 said: now I'm gaving my docotor a chance to terminate out of this relationship. I told her that she need to get away from me. quote]

Broken, and what was your psychiatrist's reply to this??

I personally know the hopelessness and wanting to be "left alone." I feel it ALL THE TIME!! But life has a way to not allowing us to be left alone.

Departure from living is something that is on my mind ALL THE TIME, but I don't act on it like I did in November 1985. Personally, I feel that once attempted, it will be always on the mind for the rest of your life...not the attempt, but the idea of doing it again.



Carolyn

Hello Broken,

I'm sorry that you have gotten to the point where you feel this desperate and hopeless. I don't know anything about your physical condition or treatment options that still might be available. Maybe you could find something useful in the chronic pain forum, as there are members here who are learning to find meaning in life despite chronic pain.

If I were your doctor, terminating your professional relationship before you make your decision would not ease any of the sense of responsibility or caring or hurt. Your doctor is a person in your life, who wants better for you, and like any person who cares about you, putting distance in between will not make it better. I, too, would be interested in your doctor's response.

I hope you hang around for a while and give us a chance to help. You wouldn't be the first to find our community after hitting rock bottom, and then to find some hope and connection and find things getting more tolerable, and eventually find the will to carry on.

TC,
Rap

I am sorry that you are feeling so hopeless. I hope that you will discuss this with your psychiatrist and that you find the support you need.

I am glad that you found us and hopefully we too can help you through this. Please take care and stay safe.

BB

You deserve psychiatric cure!
Moreover, it is not a good thing for your doc, as she KNOWS that you are not the worthless person that depression takes you to believe, and she'll consider it as a failure in her career.

i agree with everyone else... i just wanted to add that it is not beneficial to you at this time to put compassion for others ahead of your own needs. and living is a need... the pdocs and therapists have chosen their profession, stefano is right. let those who are trained decide if the weight is too much for them... perhaps if it is they have chosen the wrong profession...

your doctor would not be thinking that you're a worthless person. if i was her or him, i would be saying, "you are worth it to me. no matter how long it takes, i'd be glad to help you." don't believe in the lies that your depression is telling you. no matter how bad your depression gets, you are worth it. it doesn't matter how long you have been battling this illness. if she is a good doctor to you, i'd stay because it's important to have a good doctor to trust because they can be hard to find. really. it takes courage to go on so many years with depression - and, no, you are definitely not a loser. ever.